Penny, the visiting dog who waddles in for pats. (Photographs by Marylin Warner)
Mom and I hold her great-granddaughter Grace’s Flat Stanley project.
I’ve been asked, many times, exactly what it is I do when I visit my mother each month. From my house in Colorado to her assisted living apartment in Kansas, it’s a round-trip drive of 1,300 miles. English poet George Herbert wrote, “Every mile is two in winter,” and between November and March, I brace myself for bad roads.
In Colorado I’m busy with friends and family, writing and editing, organizations and activities, and taking hikes with my husband and our dog, as well as being open to all kinds of plans and adventures. In Kansas, within limits, Mom and I might eat the foods I bring, take walks outside in nice weather (I walk and she rides in the wheelchair), watch television and “play beauty shop.” She will ask questions, sometimes the same ones again and again, including asking if I’m someone she knows, which is the nature of dementia. I also know that we’ll sit quietly together in the living room while she naps. In other words, I spend a lot of time waiting.
Before you nod off or retch in your shoes at this Dickens-type dreary scenario, let me say this: I’ve also found that while I wait, I learn. A lot. Seriously. And I always leave a little smarter than I arrived.
For instance, because I have time to read magazines and newspapers and flip through the channels on my mother’s television, I learn information I never would have had time for on a regular, busy day. Some of what I learn is a little strange. Like the article about the wife who donated one of her kidneys to save her husband’s life…and now she wants it back. It seems he was mighty grateful at first, but now he’s having an affair, and she’d like to give the kidney to someone who deserves it. Anyone want to debate that issue?
There are also happy lessons, reminders of “the kindness of strangers.” There is always some quiet, kind, unexpected gesture from one of the caregivers that reminds me that the little things make a big difference. And then there’s the man who visits the residents and brings his little dog Penny to waddle in for pats and smiles. Or the friends who’ve sent me amazing links that finally I have time to watch: this Tchaikovsky Flashwaltz at the Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem is the most stunning example of “the kindness of strangers” I’ve ever seen. Please, do yourself a favor and invest two minutes…you’ll be astounded: http://safeshare.tv/w/OXHZUxUXXN
I also glean all kinds of health information from the magazines stacked in the mail room. Seriously, I now know the most important times to drink water to be healthy: 2 glasses of water after waking up helps activate internal organs ~ 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal helps digestion ~ 1 glass of water before taking a bath/shower regulates blood pressure ~ 1 glass of water before going to bed helps you avoid a stroke or heart attack. Yea! for H2O!!!
Mostly, though, each month I’m reminded of basic truths: 1) Our mothers were right ~ a smile does make all the difference; 2) When we pause to visit with someone who is sitting alone or has nowhere to go, it’s a very good thing for both of us; 3) Slowing down, taking time to wait and think, to watch and listen and learn, is actually a gift.
February is the shortest month of the year. No matter where we live, no matter what our age or health or economic status, for all of us there are only twenty-eight days this month. If you have an opportunity to sit with an elderly relative or friend who knows who you are–or doesn’t even know who she is–who is healing from surgery or just hoping for a visitor, I encourage you to welcome the opportunity. You may have to sit quietly for a while and wait, but there’s a good chance you will learn something important.
Leave it to the Brits to have fun! The Little Tikes for kids (on right) is now for adults, too. I learned that they’re windowless, have seat belts, and can go up to 70 miles per hour!
Things I Want To Tell My Mother 
I love all your ‘learnings’. Mmmm that is tricky about the kidney. I wonder if this sort of scenario is discussed when people express a wish to become a donor!
Hmm…somehow, I think it’s one of those ‘donor beware’ things with no exchanges, no returns. 😉 But the article was very interesting.
We should learn to wait, we learn a lot while waiting, excellent post!
Thanks, Olivia. We do learn a great deal just by waiting, watching and listening.
Marylin, I love the way you speak of waiting and learning. The two concepts go so well together, provided, as you say, our waiting is impregnated with a kind of learning openness. Travelling 1300 miles to visit your Mom, That’s a real commitment of love. It’s so sad that she doesn’t recognize you. That must have been a hard one to come to terms with. Admire you deeply.
Thank you so much, Don. It is a long drive each month, but it’s a change of pace and time to think. The last 200 miles down to Ft. Scott and then 200 back to Abilene where our daughter and grandchildren are, those I drive alone. A part of it is true–you can’t go home again, not totally–but on another level, seeing my mom and connecting with her, being sure she’s okay, that is being at home again, but with reversed roles. It is sad that she no longer recognizes me, but it’s not her fault and she’s still her usual sweet self, and I try to keep a sense of humor. Thanks for your kind support.
Gosh Marylin, what a journey – that would be like me driving to the northern tip of Scotland every month. I hope you take several good music tapes and audio books! I think you Americans are more geared up to huge distances and probably don’t think twice about it. when our son visited elderly friends in Silver City, he was collected from the airport in El Paso by his friend (a war veteran aged 83) who had driven the 180 miles that morning. They drove straight back and then the following day, they took an outing to Tombstone, a similar distance in the opposite direction.
But you are right that having time to slow down and wait is a gift – and not something we have very often. A time for reflection, finding out and learning.
Before my dad’s Alzheimer’s and my mom’s dementia, this was the drive I made to ‘go home’ during college and then later, when Molly was little. I’d teach my first h.s. class at 7:05 in the morning. At 3:30 I’d pick Molly up at preschool and then I’d drive almost 12 hours. We’d lose an hour in the time change and arrive just before dawn. You have to be very young and foolish to do that! 😉
Now I break the drive into two days, but I do it every month. But Jenny, it really does give me time to slow down when I’m with her, take a deep breath, hold her hand and smile, and wait for whatever is next.
It’s great that you can have that quiet time with your Mom – whether she realises it is you or not ( and on some level I’m sure she still does, and takes comfort from it), and that you get to read and find out all manner of interesting snippets of life which sets your mind wandering in different directions. By the way, I watched that video from the hospital in Jerusalem – it was wonderful – and that Little Tyke’s car – we had a news item on it just last week – the ultimate in adult toys!
I don’t find this dreary or Dickensian at all. My mother slid away over 18 days. I spent a large amount of the days and some nights at the hospital. Long, long silences. She sometimes drifted away into confusion and finally a coma and eternal rest. I learned a lot about what matters. About human dignity. About what could make her smile. Yours is a journey of love, Marylin. I’m sure it registers somewhere deep down, perhaps even when you have left. And she still has a lovely smile.
Thank you, Andrew. You do understand, and express it so well.
It is a journey of love, and yes, like you I do learn about what really matters. I appreciate what you shared about your mother and the 18 day journey you had with her.
I love how you see value in both gear settings on your life-pacing machine. I can certainly relate. When I visit mother I watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, shows I never would have time for in my own face-paced life, similar to your own. Always I get a refresher on pop culture or a review of English/American literature titles.
You will never regret the 1300 miles you travel, but that is quite a trek, even on good roads. Thank you for inspiration that motivated this post and the quote (new to me) from George Herbert. You have such a gift for making the ordinary seem special.
Oh, thank you, Marian.
Before my dad died of Alzheimer’s, I’d sit with him and watch old repeats of Wagon Train and Bonanza…and then his favorite program became Rachel Ray. That was the surprise; he’d never known how to boil water, but he was mesmerized by every step it took to prepare Italian meal.
I’ve always thought George Herbert had me and my travels in mind when he wrote that quote…decades and decades before!
Oh, I just thought of a quote from Milton that would also suit your theme: “They also serve who only stand and wait.” I imagine that most of your waiting is done in the seated position, but . . . well, you get the point.
I love that, Marian. It’s a perfect quote. Thanks.
What a delight to read on this cold Saturday morning! I feel so warm and happy inside after reading your magical words Marylin! I love Peny and can just see the smiles Penny gives and the photo of you with Flat Stanly brings back memories of when my boys did that project. So fun! And what a special photo for your Grace to have (my daughter is Grace too). Oh how many hours my kiddos spent shuffling around in the lLittle Tikes car…..I would love to go 70 miles an hour in one! So fun……that would be a ride of giggles! Lastly, the video was AMAZING and warmed my heart. Thank you SO much for your post, beautiful words, and the smiles you put on so many faces this morning. Hugs and blessings to you and Mary! Robyn
You always say the kindest, most thoughtful things, Robyn. Thank you.
It’s that the best video? I’ve watched it over and over, and each time I’m amazed by young musicians giving so generously to patients of all ages.
And the Lil Tikes car made me laugh out loud. We got one child size version for our granddaughter Grace’s 2nd birthday. Her brother Gannon, who is 11 mos. younger, pushed in beside her, and they had the best time. Now I want the adult version. What fun that would be.
Many blessings to you, Robyn, and the beautiful photographs and words you create.
I’m reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh right now. Just this morning she said, after returning to American after half a decade in Europe (well, actually she said it on August 10th, 1939 in her diary, but I just read it this morning), No American can understand the need for time–that is, simply open space to breathe. If you have ten minutes to spare you should jam that full instead of leaving it–as space around your next ten minutes. How can anything ripen without those “empty” ten minutes?
Here’s to unplanned time!
Is that from her book GIFTS FROM THE SEA, Tracy? She certainly had it right, especially about Americans in general.
It makes me appreciate even more this monthly drive, the transition into slow, soft, focus and waiting. It really has made a difference in how I now understand waiting and learning. Thanks for the reminder about Anne; when I think of her, I wonder how she handled her husband’s notoriety, and then the awful notoriety of losing her child.
I’ve been delving deeply into AML stuff. spurred by a book group…
The quote is from her diary, “War within, and Without…diaries and letters 1939 – 1944)
Thanks, Tracy. I’ll look that one up…sounds like more classic Anne Morrow Lindbergh insight and honesty.
I’m pretty sure 70mph without windows is not going to be much fun for the big tyke Marylin.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
But just think, David. You could have the adult size, and then in a few years you could drive slowly and Reuben could drive along in his kid-size version! The creator of the adult version is a Brit! Huge hugs back to you!
Thank you for sharing your waiting time. That is a very long driving, especially in the winter… The drinking water is very helpful.
You’re welcome, Amy. Actually, now that I know about the water schedule, I drink more water as I drive. It does make a difference!
Another verity special post. Your writing about your visits with your mother give hope and inspiration. I try to remember that time waiting for traffic lights etc. is not wasted time – its God given time to just be.
And anytime, on long drives or a stop lights–that we take a breath and just ‘be’–also becomes a special moment in time. Thanks, Rod.
Love it, Marylin. Such a profound yet simple lesson from your visits with your mom. Many times ‘waiting’ brings the best to us and from us.
In sports before the BIG game, we sometimes say, “Relax and let the game come to you. ”
And then there is Hermann Hesse’s character Siddhartha, who proclaims he has acquired three valuable skills during his time as a Buddhist monk. As he searches for truth in the outside world, Siddhartha tells others, “I can fast; I can WAIT; I can meditate.”
Or how about the Taoist who says you can ruin a fish by turning it too many times while cooking it? 🙂
Or maybe it comes from Alcoholics Anonymous: “Let go; let God” and “Easy does it.”
Honey, you always remind me of more good things. Especially after all the times I taught SIDDHARTHA in sophomore honors English, I should have remembered. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to fast. But now, thanks to these monthly visits with my mom, I can wait, and learn from whatever happens.
Your support is much appreciated, Jim; you make these trips from Colorado to Kansas and back each month much smoother.
I did so much waiting when my mother was dying Marylin and it’s actually those small moments, when the sun was setting and sending orange light through the windows and she was sleeping, that are the ones I remember and give me peace.
Oh, yes, Andrea. When my dad was dying of Alzheimer’s, it was the quiet, late night rhythms of breathing, the soft sounds out in the hallway, that I remember. Now, when my mother, it’s the early morning sunlight coming in her windows that I’ll remember and feel peaceful.
Very timely this for me Marylin, since I have had no choice but to take more time out this past week while waiting for my laptop to be fixed (hence me not being in touch until now). I was amazed at all I accomplished while waiting. I used to read the newspapers regularly but don’t do so much since blogging and writing more and I realised that I was missing out on many of the interesting kind of snippets you shared here! I have to say though, I’ve not heard of the Little Tikes car for adults! My kids loved theirs I know that 🙂
Love this post and all you share which certainly gives cause for many smiles and a wonderful reminder to take time out to smell the roses, or coffee, whichever you prefer! Something we so often forget to do.
Welcome back, Sherri. To feel calm and free to do other things after your computer has crashed and is being repaired it a tribute to your ability to shift focus. But it is a restful break, isn’t it? It’s one on the reasons I no longer take my laptop when I visit my mom. Several days of accumulated comments and emails will be waiting for me when I return to my laptop, but the joy of being without the distraction is renewing.
For me, it’s taking time to smell the coffee AND the roses!
You are so right Marylin. I can fully understand why you don’t take your laptop with you. It is very freeing, despite the amount of catching up you face when you return. Still, it is so definitely worth it just to have that vital time away from it all and, as you say, shift focus and take in the air, no matter what it smells of 😉
Well said, Sherri. 😉
But, yes, I have learned that what I gain in change of pace and having time to watch and listen and learn, is worth the catch up work it takes when I return to my regular busy life. For me, that is an important lesson!
🙂
Thank you, Marylin…your words always touch a special place in my heart. The Flashwaltz was an amazing scene to watch…as much for seeing the pure joy on the faces of the onlookers (especially the children) as for listening to the beautiful music.
You are so right…a smile, a kind word and a hug are the richest gifts we can give to anyone…and they cost not a penny!
I will keep you in my prayers as you continue your long winter drives…stay safe, dear friend.:)
Oh, Vivian, thank you. When I see your pictures with your grandson, I know your move to be near him is a special, wonderful gift for you both. That’s how we feel about time with our grandchildren each month after I’ve been with my mother. Those family connections are so important.
Thank you for your prayers for safe travels, dear Vivian.
Makes me miss the wisdom of my aunts. When we are young we are impatient. The ability to wait come with age, I guess. Patience, Grasshopper.
Yes, indeed; patience, Grasshopper.
My Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother had a plate on her kitchen wall: “Too soon we grow old ~ too late we grow smart.” These monthly trips came late in my experience, but better late than never to learn the value of waiting and learning.
Dear Marylin, So true what you say. The times sitting with my mother are precious memories. Waiting is a mystery in all kinds of ways. I watched so many good programs with my mother – news, concerts, BookTV on C-Span – and I loved when I could find a movie she could follow, since she had loved novels. And the conversations with others so meaningful. During her last illness, we simply held hands and rested, most of all. Blessings to you both. What a ministry you have, with your mother and here. Safe journeys. Ellen
Thank you, Ellen, I appreciate your kind words. I thought of your touching poetry and your references to your mother, and I knew you would understand the special waiting and learning that develops between mothers and daughters. Thank you for your blessings, Ellen.
Lovely post, Marylin. It’s so important for us to spend time with our elderly relatives or friends. Every day, I spend 30 minutes on the phone with my 87 year old aunt who lives in Alabama. She’s fortunate to still be able to live independently, but she does get lonely. I look forward to the weekend, when I have more time. We often chat for an hour on Saturday and Sunday. She’s got the greatest stories! 🙂
As far as the water, I think you forgot the part of the article where we are to drink another glass of water each of the ten times we get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night! 🙂
Be safe in your travels, Marylin!
Jill, the time you spend with your aunt each day is probably the brightest light in her day, and an ongoing connection between the two of you. And her great stories will be great ink in your writing pen! 😉
You’re right about the extra water to drink each time we get up at night! We’ll be sleep deprived but not dehydrated!
Just want you to know that I love reading the comments that your posts receive — almost as much as I love your stories. You have a kind and caring community of readers. I learn a lot from them, too. Andrew’s comment is precious. And thanks for the link to the flashwaltz. The people watching look so happy. Have you ever been the recipient of a surprise performance like that? I’m still waiting for mine!
I think, Darla, the connections are made at a personal level. Not just me with my mother, but others remembering about struggles and connections with their parents or other family members. I’m surprised that especially the demands of Alzheimer’s and dementia ring true with so many, and that so many share their own stories.
No, I haven’t received a surprise performance, but I thrilled with the wonderful gift the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance gave to the visitors and patients. Such a generous thing to do.
There is so much value in stillness and waiting if we are willing to experience and welcome what comes into that space. That is a realllly long drive though!
It is, but going the distance is required.
Thanks for your comment about the value and stillness and waiting. I agree.
Penny looks very sweet.
This is a great post. In my heart, I’m an impatient person. But the beauty of waiting is a lesson I’ve found myself learning over and over. My grandma had Alzheimer’s and lived in a nursing facility to the end of her days. Everything to her day had a specific rhythm—very slow. So when I visited her, there was a ton of waiting.
Then you’ve already been there and experienced the waiting and learning, L. Marie. I amazed at all the different lessons I’m learning with each visit.
You are very devoted and steadfast! Our trip is less than 200 miles and often find it hard to go just because the visit can be demoralizing. You have managed to turn darkness into light for yourself so I am sure others stand in the radiance as well! Forecast for this area is three winter storms in February so be careful when you are on the road.
Oh, and that is what I worry about, Claudia. Right now we’re in our third day of snow in Colorado, but once the sun pops out, at this altitude everything quickly melts. But I remember the sudden ice storms in southeast Kansas, and how long it took for the icicles to melt and drop off the telephone and power lines.
Yes, I will definitely try to be very careful, Claudia.
Your faithfulness to your mom is so moving, Marylin. Thanks for helping us see the value in waiting…whenever we are asked to do so.
Thanks, Nancy. I’m always surprised by what I’m reminded as I write the posts, and what I learn from comments and the posts of other bloggers. I’m still thinking about Milton’s quote about those who stand and wait also serve.
Many wonderful points here, Marylin – and a wonderful flashwaltz! Thanks for both.
I loved the Flashwaltz, too, Shel. The Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance performed beautifully, and the faces of their audience–especially the very young and the very old–were very touching.
Patience and kindness are always appreciated. Thank you for sharing the beautiful music and for reminding us of some important things in life. Time shared with others is well spent.
It is a lesson I learn, again and again, Judy, each month when I walk in the door of the assisted living where my mother’s apartment is. I’m eager to get upstairs to see Mom, but there are many sitting in the foyer in their wheelchairs, eager for someone to talk to for even a few minutes.
This shows what a great gift you offer to your mother. You’re a power of example. We can learn so much just by sitting quietly and seeking ways to grow and make ourselves useful. And oh, that drive! That sounds challenging. I might consider trying it on a motorcycle, however…(Cue in the mischievious smile!)
Thanks, Diana. Yes, you could do it on your motorcycle, no problem. Unless there’s hail, sleet, snow, howling winds, or tornado warnings. 😉
What used to be your part of Kansas is getting a true winter storm now, so Israel is probably much more desirable.
Yes, absolutely, I have learned to see quiet sitting and waiting as a prelude to learning something new and important.
Mom,
I know that because the whole purpose of the bolg is to focus in on the things about Grandma that we want the kids to remember – but I just want to point out ONE huge point here: as much as you learn while waiting with Grandma….you learn and teach on the other ends of the trip to Ft.Scott with your Grandkids (and even your daughter and son-in-law).
This last trip, for example, we learned that checking the oil – even on a NEW car – is extremely critical. We learned that children will become very uneasy when their mom cries. We learned that at 35, children still need their paren’ts help. We learned that children really do get over illnesses much faster than adults.
And Grace and Gannon learned that their Mor-Mor and Grandpa are ALWAYS there to help out – in all ways. They re-learned/confirmed there is no where better to be than with Mor-Mor and Grandpa when you don’t feel well. They learned the advantages and disadvantages of driving Lil Solli (Sally) car!
Thanks for being such a learner and a teacher! We love you Mor-Mor and Grandpa Maggie…WOOF WOOF!
Oh, Molly, you are so sweet. And on this freezing, deep snowy day in both Colorado and Kansas, your words are the sunshine we need. Thank you.
You and Trevor, Jim and I all know that when it comes to lessons, though, all it takes is your children/our grandchildren to teach us all, or at least remind us of what’s important.
We have a family that laughs, cries, struggles and triumphs, and always finds a way to enjoy being together–even when one of us is sick and passing it on to the others–and that makes us very, very blessed. Grandma would be proud of us all, especially the great-grandchildren who give her such sweet hugs and love, even though she’s not sure of their names…
😉
I like to learn while I’m waiting too. When it got too cold to take outdoor photos in Abilene, I went to the library and read books until my husband got off work.
A round-trip drive of 1,300 miles is astounding. It’s a wonderful act of love that you do for your loved ones each month Marylin. Hoping that all of your journeys are safe ones this winter.
Right now, Theresa, it’s one snowstorm after another, and I’m so glad I’m not creeping along on the ice, staying in motels when the interstate is closed. On one of my visits, it took me 3 days, 2 nights in motels, to finally get home, but at least I got home safely.
But the lessons I’m learning–especially when I look back on them–are exactly the lessons I needed to learn, even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time.
I hope you were hiding from the cold in Abilene’s main library, with the charming original study areas and big windows with stained glass. The Eisenhower Presidential Library is excellent, but the town library is my favorite place to hide out when I want to sit and think about the lessons I learned with my mom in Fort Scott.
I hope that you don’t have to drive through Kansas today Marylin. The snowstorm that passed through here yesterday left at least 7 inches of snow behind. Kansas City is still trying to clear all the snow off the roads.
I stayed warm in Abilene’s main library. I went to the genealogy section first, but didn’t find any new information concerning my family. So then I wandered into the study area with all the articles from Abilene’s sister city. I ended up in the reference book area where I learned a few new facts about Kansas.
No driving through Kansas’ storm this week; in Colorado we’re up to our eyeballs in winter ourselves. This is a strange, -14 degrees kind of February, so we won’t be driving to southeast KS until conditions improve.
I’m glad you tried Abilene’s public library, Theresa. The original part, which includes all the reference areas, is a delight. And if you go from there upstairs to the ‘reading room’ you’ll be amazed by the comfortable chairs, the tables and plants, and plenty of space to spread out and enjoy vintage books of Kansas history.
Thank you Marylin.
Marylin, Penny is adorable. As is “Flat Stanley”.
Thank you for sharing how you spend your time. It’s so important to watch, wait and learn. I always drink two large glasses of water as soon as I get up each morning. I’ll have to try drinking a glass before a shower. Thanks for the tips. 🙂
And I should have given credit to that recommendation. It was advice given by a health panel, based on suggestions by several unnamed (that I could find) cardiologists on staff at several hospitals.
It makes sense, though, about the timing. Years ago I’d heard that hot showers or baths actually dehydrate us, so now I divide a glass of water before and after my shower. It can’t hurt!
Beautiful writing about the lessons for waiting and learning – your time with your mother is such a show of love and devotion. The stage she is in brings a whole new powerful level of understanding as you shower her with love.
Thank you, Mary. I’m the one doing the rescheduling of my life and driving to see her, but being with her also teaches me some very valuable lessons about this stage in my life, too.
Wonderful story Marylin ..About the topic donating internal organ it is a kindness work sometimes a business work lol 🙂
This husband-wife-affair disaster with the kidney donation will probably set a new trend, Jake. But how can you demand–and receive–the kidney you donated to someone? It’s a funny, strange situation that maybe proves you should just receive organ transplants from ‘the kindness of strangers’ instead of people who know you and might get angry with you down the road! 😉
You have a point my friend 😉
I get to learn a lot at the hair salon. In between the gossips, not always sure it’s worth learning about though lol.
Love those spontaneous flashmobs going around the world!
But you see and hear so much, Karin. You’re learning more than you realize!
What you have given out of you own free will you cannot have it back.
I remember what the German kids I used to play with were shouting to each other: ” . . . . Wiederholen ist gestohlen!” Meaning that if you take it back
it’s stealing
Of course it sounds awful what this man did: Showing his gratitude by having an affair with another woman! I wonder whether the marriage was on a good footing before this happened. And how it came to the affair. Did anyone try to talk to the couple so that they could reconcile? Was it really “only” an affair or did this man have stronger feelings for this other woman and wanted to dump his wife? Well, we don’t know the circumstances, do we? Maybe the wife was always busy with a lot of other things and had not much time for her husband. That still would not excuse his behaviour, of course. This woman he had the affair with, did she know that he was married? Didn’t she care at all how this affair would make the wife feel?
Thank you for this Tchaikovsky Flashwaltz at the Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem. I enjoyed it very much! 🙂
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE AND A DOG. This is very beautiful too. Thank you! “Penny, the visiting dog who waddles in for pats.” How lovely!
I was also interested in this information about the drinking of water. 🙂
My Mum in her last stages of illness did not recognise any of us. But you are right, some quiet time can be very rewarding.
Excellent questions! Your list of possibilities is rich with insights, but I just don’t know the answers.
I loved the Flashwaltz in the hospital in Jerusalem, too. The gift of music given by strangers to those waiting or healing in the hospital was an inspiring and hope-renewing video for me.
Thanks for your comments, and please join us again.
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