WEARING YOUR MESSAGE

My daughter Molly’s ankle tattoo. (picture by Marylin Warner)

Their house and former yard filled with trees ~ after the tornado of 2008. Click on picture to see details.

Dear Mom,

You always understood that there’s something inside us that needs to write our words and create our art. After you wrote your children’s stories, even if they were just going to be filed away in a drawer, you also drew or painted illustrations. And sometimes you added music as well, singing songs and humming melodies as you typed the stories and created watercolor pictures.

Author Sylvia Plath wrote, “Wear your heart on your skin in this life,” but one thing you were never tempted to do was get a tattoo.  The only question I ever heard you ask of someone wearing a tattoo was when you smiled at a young man with a multi-colored dragon tattoo and said, “Did it hurt?” He returned the smile and said, “Yeah, kinda, but it was worth it.”

As a writer, I have many favorite words and quotes, but there’s never been a phrase or a symbol I wanted to wear permanently.  I am, however, fascinated by those who do.  In the spirit of last week’s post—asking WHY?—I admit I want to know both the What and the Why of tattoo choices.

One of my favorites is actress Susan Sarandon’s AND AND tattoo.  It means A New Dawn A New Day, and the way I heard her explain it in an interview, it’s a reminder that whatever happens, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh beginning.

Many athletes wear art and numerous messages and symbols. People of all careers and ages whose professions discourage tattoos, wear them on places they cover with professional attire.  Before the dementia, you would smile pleasantly when you saw a heavily tattooed person, but later you’d shake your head and ask  me, “Do you understand why they do that?”

Actually, Mom, in some cases I do.  And if you were free of the dementia and could see your granddaughter’s most recent tattoo, I think you would understand, too.  The WHAT: four hearts—one green, one orange, one pink, one blue—surviving a whirling tornado.  The WHY: the four hearts represent the favorite colors of the four members of their family, symbolizing their love for each other, and gratitude for surviving the devastating tornado that destroyed much of their little town in 2008.

Yes, Mom, I think you would understand the permanent art your granddaughter wears on her ankle. You’d probably want to know if it hurt to get tattooed, but you’d be grateful that her family survived the tornado, and you’d celebrate with them.

Author Jack London wrote, “Show me a man with a tattoo and I’ll show you a man with an interesting past.”

I would add to that: “The same is true of a woman.”

I have some very interesting things in my past, Mom, but I don’t think I’ll get any tattoos. And that’s okay.  I’ll write about them instead, so I can edit, correct and delete…without pain.

On People’s Court, this ‘Faith’ tattoo was under attack… If you turned it upside down, as in the first picture above, it should read ‘Hope’–but the i and t had a problem. Correcting or erasing a tattoo can be long, hard & expensive.

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THREADING FLOWERS IN WINTER

Mary Shepherd’s Wild Roses stitchery framed in a 36″ hoop (circa 1968)(all photos by Marylin Warner)

Marylin’s 20″x26″ framed Mixed Wildflowers, 1973

1988–Mary’s granddaughter, Molly, age 10, created Clay Hand with Weaving

Dear Mom,

I remember when you taught me to thread a needle. It was a big darning needle, which assured my first attempt was successful. By the time I was ten I could thread small-eyed, delicate needles with silk thread and do basic stitches on squares of cotton cloth.

During the spring and summer, we planted bulbs and seeds so our yard—and our vases—would blossom with the beauty of flowers.  During the winter, when you created poetry and wove sentences into stories, you also ‘grew’ flowers with colorful threads that adorned pillow cases and wall hangings.  Because of you, I could use your sewing machine to ‘create’ simple shifts and jumpers by the time I was thirteen, which was about the same time I also began to ‘hunt and peck’ the words of my stories on your typewriter.

It’s almost Thanksgiving, Mom, and I am thankful for oh-so-many, many things. But as the snow falls, the temperature drops and the calendar creeps toward the end of another year, I am especially thankful for my love of sewing, growing and writing. And many other skills, too, but those are another story.

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Judy Berman of http://earth-rider.com/, is a writer, teacher and former reporter whose posts I enjoy and respect immensely. Recently she nominated “Things I Want To Tell My Mother” for The WordPress Family Award.  It has been a long time since I’ve accepted awards for my blog, but several writers helped me understand that the Family Award isn’t for me and my writing…it’s for my mother and the stories of her life.  With that in mind, Judy, I gratefully accept your nomination on behalf of  Mary Shepherd.

Many of the blogs I appreciate deserve this award, and several have already received it.  This is my mother’s award, though, and so I happily nominate these three whose posts and comments I have shared with her, and whose talents and messages reflect her own.

http://robyngrahamphotography.com/

Robyn’s photography of flowers and nature is amazing and inspiring, and she includes perfect quotes like this by Robert Mapplethorpe: “When I work, and in my art, I hold hands with God.”

http://darsba.wordpress.com/

Darla McDavid writes touching and real stories about her own family; she also writes helpful, specific and supportive posts for writers of all levels. This is a combination of topics near and dear to my mother’s life…and her heart.

http://viviankirkfield.com/

Vivian’s blog is a combination of opportunities for writers, ideas for parents, activities and books for children, and recipes for everyone. It’s everything my mother enjoyed before the dementia, and even now she samples Vivian’s delicious recipes.

WHAT–AND HOW–WE WRITE

Dear Mom,

Years ago, for your birthday I took you to a writers’ conference. We were walking around before the first session, checking out the bookstore and getting cold drinks. Posted on a wall was a hand written announcement about an upcoming workshop titled “Comming Soon…How To Improve Your Writting.” Yes, coming and writing were misspelled. And it’s was misused for its, plus some other mistakes.  You were so embarrassed for whoever had made the poster. I agreed, but I also didn’t want to point it out in front of others.  So we waited, standing in front of it and blocking the mistakes. Finally a lady came by and asked if we had questions. When we learned it was her poster, we quietly pointed out the errors so she could correct them. You even offered to help.

She laughed. It had been a prop, and we were the only ones who responded.  We received our choices of journals from the bookstore. The title of her speech later was “Why Are Writers Afraid to Help Each Other?”

You could have given that speech, Mom. One of the many things I learned from you is that helping someone else succeed does not take away from our own success. I watched you help children work on their spelling, teens write essays, peers work on poems and short stories.  You could write beautiful passages, but you were also practical and succinct when that was called for. If you were stranded on an island (see above) you definitely would have used stones to write the short, clear, effective message–HELP–and then gone in search of firewood and food.

April is National Poetry Month. Last week you shared your poem, “In God We Trust,” with our blog friends.  Next week, on April 10^th is Encourage A Young Writer Day. If you were still able, you’d be the first one offering to help.  But since you aren’t able, maybe some of the rest of us will step up in your place!

I love you, Mom.

Marylin

Long message posted below a stop sign.

Gannon makes words.

“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”
by Dr Seuss (all pictures by Marylin Warner)

Congratulations, Mary Shepherd!

This blog is about awards, so we begin with Mary Elizabeth Hoover Shepherd, 94, holding a special, private collection of her poetry, articles, essays and stories, including her illustrated story, “Stubby The Missouri Mule.”

Dear Mom,

During the last month, our blog has received three new awards. This time, you will be “accepting” the awards, and I will answer the questions as I know you would (without the dementia), and we will thank those who nominated our blog, and then we’ll recommend others.

With genuine thanks to those who follow us, enjoy our story and have nominated this blog, I know you will understand why we’re answering just a few of the many questions and are nominating just one new blog for each award.  Here we go:

The Super Sweet Award  from our friend Mack of the diary of me at http://thediaryofmeblog.wordpress.com/    Question: do you have a sweet nickname? Mary Ibeth (short and sweet nickname for Elizabeth, which was a mouthful for children).  Question: which do you like better, cookies or cake? Actually, my mother used to love pies more. Now, though, she loves cookies, especially soft snickerdoodle cookies, though anything sweet and served with a smile or shared with a visitor is very nice, too.

One Lovely Blog Award from Pat Wood at http://patwoodblogging.com/ who offers great photography and  insights and adventures on writing (a sample of her novel,CLEAN DEATH,can be read on her blog),   and  the Liebster Blog Award from Eva Rider at http://evarider.com/ whose theme is to Live your fantasy (she’s a fantasy and contemporary/mainstream writer)   Question: what event didn’t you expect that made your life what it is today? Mom would say she didn’t expect to lose her husband and best friend to a long struggle with Alzheimer’s, and then also to lose many of her own short term memories and knowledge to dementia, but Life doesn’t do what we expect.  Question: how do you want to be remembered?  Mom would like to be remembered for her strong quiet faith, and for the people she helped and the good changes she made in schools, the church and children’s lives,  for her warm hospitality and the delicious meals she fixed, and especially, for the love she shared with her family and friends.

When I visit Mom each month, I tell her about new blogs I’ve discovered, and sometimes I’ll read her special posts that I think she’ll enjoy. We will share some of our new favorites now, and recommend that you all visit their blogs soon:

http://claudiapage–bookie.blogspot.com/  for One Lovely Blog Award.  Claudia’s Page covers writing, tea events, antiques and collectibles, interesting Kansas places, and delightful pictures to enjoy again and again!

http://poeticparfait.com/ Christy Birmingham’s “Poetic Parfait” for The Super Sweet Award. Christy lives in Victoria, British Columbia and writes personally and professionally. She compares poetry to a wonderful dessert you just can’t pass up, and her photography is wonderful!

http://lanternpost2012.wordpress.com/ for the Liebster Award.  Daniela is the Lantern’s Keeper at Lantern Post; she has amazing photography poetry, prose, quotes, book and movie reviews, and reflections. To visit her blog is to take an amazing journey.

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Mary: the same beauty, two ages

The cover of the book Marylin put together for her mother ~ selected poems,
articles, essays, stories, and the illustrated story, “Stubby The Missouri Mule”