Category Archives: memories for great-grandchildren

THE ICE INITIATIVE

Play Your Strong Suit

 

typewriter w: 4 hands

 

 

Picture this: the day after school lets out for the summer, a twelve-year-old daughter whines and complains she has nothing to do. The mother takes an envelope out of her purse. It’s filled with clippings from newspapers and magazines, and handwritten notes on scraps of papers. “Here it is,” she says, waving a piece of newsprint. “We’ll do this!”

The “this” is a contest looking for the best original Helpful Hint; the postmarked deadline is that very day, and the first prize is $50. She smoothes the rumpled newsprint on the kitchen table and says, “I’ll enter if you will.” And then as her daughter sits there moaning, the mother pours them glasses of tea and opens a tray of ice from the freezer. As she adds ice to the glasses, one cube falls onto the table.

The daughter looks at the cube and sighs. “I’ll try doing it, but only until that ice cube melts. And then I’ll quit and do something else.”

By the middle of the afternoon the ice cube has long been water on the table, and the girl and her mother are laughing and taking turns at the typewriter. The mother’s entry is about keeping an envelope full of contest opportunities so that whenever she needs something fun or different to try, the envelope holds the answer.

The daughter’s entry is called “Before The Ice Melts,” and it’s a simple timer. Before an ice cube melts, any boring, must-do responsibility or chore must be accomplished. Or if a babysitter wants to keep rowdy kids in line, all they have to do is sit at a table with an ice cube on a napkin in the center and do their homework or read a book or work on something without talking…but only until it melts.

The mother and daughter are both excited and telling jokes as they finish typing their entries (the daughter can only two-finger hunt-and-peck type, so it takes awhile), and then they fold their entries and put them in envelopes. They have twenty minutes to get to the post office, so while the daughter gets the stamps, the mother goes to get the entry information and address.

The rumpled square from the newspaper is gone! They search everywhere—the kitchen counters and drawers, under the table, in the typewriter room and even the bathroom—as the clock ticks.   The post office closes, and they still haven’t found it.

“Thanks, Mom,” the daughter thinks more than fifty years later, “for losing the address and ruining my chance to write the Great Ice Cube Initiative and become famous.”

But she smiles as she thinks this, wishing her wonderful, idea-rich mother had somehow sidestepped dementia and could laugh with her now as they watch ice cubes melt and talk about all the fun ideas they created together.

what deadline

ice cube on plate

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, Fort Scott Kansas, lessons about life, making a difference, memories for great-grandchildren, Things to be thankful for, writing, writing exercises

A Word To Tackle: TOSKA

Even the outside of the Old Colorado City Library inspires you to read.

Even the outside of the Old Colorado City Library inspires you to read.

 

 

Local knitters keep the library trees colorful, creative and warm.

Local knitters keep the library trees colorful, creative and warm.

For Mother’s Day one year, I gave Mom a deck of cards for writers.  52 cards, not for playing poker or bridge or any card game, but for picking a writing prompt.  The idea was to “play your best hand” and write without stopping for fifteen minutes.

Mom laughed at the first prompt card she drew from the deck.  It said to write for fifteen minutes about where a lost child might be found.  “That’s too easy,” she said. “My first place to look for Marylin would be the library.”

I love libraries, especially very old, small libraries that smell of floor wax and have wide, tall windows and comfortable chairs scattered around the stacks of books. One of my favorite quotes about a library comes from Albert Einstein: “The only thing you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.”   I first saw this quote boldly printed on a map of the town of Chautauqua, New York.   The map was posted on the bulletin board of the Smith Memorial Library, and someone had used a marker to make an X where the library was: “You are here. Make the Most of It.”

Library bulletin boards are fascinating sources of information. Last week when I returned some library books, there were coupons for the nearby coffee shop, note cards with job opportunities, and contact numbers for poets looking to start a group. There was also one yellow card thumb-tacked to the board, with the word TOSKA printed in large letters.

Below the word TOSKA, in smaller printing was this message: “Among other things, Toska means melancholy, anguish, boredom, nostalgia, homesickness, sorrow, loneliness. If you know someone who suffers from one or more of these maladies, you can help heal them with a visit, a kind word, the touch of your hand on theirs as you listen to them talk about themselves and something they once treasured.”

I read this message again, almost feeling my mother’s presence.   If it weren’t for her dementia—and even though I doubted she had ever heard the word Toska—I knew she had helped many others by sitting beside them, holding their hands and listening.  Take that, Toska!       

Before the dementia, Grace and Gannon often enjoyed being read to by their great-grandmother.

Before the dementia, Grace and Gannon often enjoyed being read to by their great-grandmother.

Make the Most of itMG_5559

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, experiments, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, making a difference, memories for great-grandchildren, special quotations, writing exercises

FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

The first "hut" at the corner of Kellogg and Bluff

The first “hut” at the corner of Kellogg and Bluff

 

Dan and Frank in 1958

Dan and Frank in 1958

I grew up in the southeast corner of Kansas where a rugged swath of the Ozarks createsd a countryside of rolling hills and woods of stunning beauty. The area was also rocky farmland and hard scrabble little towns where generations of Italians worked in the strip mines and built family-meal  restaurants that still thrive today. There were numerous stories of hard-working parents who refused to give up and went on to build better lives for themselves and their children.

When my grandson went with me to visit my mother two months ago, he also introduced me to another Kansas success story. On our drive home, I asked Gannon where he wanted to eat, and he chose Pizza Hut.  The nearest one was in the little town of Burlington, and from the outside it looked like a typical Pizza Hut.  But inside it displayed many pictures and details of Pizza Hut’s humble beginnings.

In 1958, two college-aged brothers, Dan and Frank Carney, borrowed $600 from their mother to purchase second-hand equipment and rent a small building on a busy street in Wichita, KS.  They worked long hours and didn’t give up  (and yes, they also repaid their mother’s loan), and this first Pizza Hut became the foundation of the world’s largest and most successful chain of pizza restaurants.  (For my friends across the ocean, I add this detail:  in 1973 Pizza Hut began in the UK.)

In the Burlington Pizza Hut, important messages were printed on posters and chalk boards:  “From Humble Beginnings Come Great Things”;   “Work hard, Stay humble”;   and “Do Your Best.”   As Gannon and I went to the buffet, we were greeted with smiles from the helpful employees.   The Carney brothers did not grow up in this town, but their philosophy thrives.

A teenage girl ahead of us at the buffet wore a tennis T-shirt.   On the front was a picture of Arthur Ashe, and this was the message:  “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”   This profound reminder is from a superb tennis player and a wonderful man who died in 1993 after contracting AIDS from a blood transfusion he received during heart bypass surgery.

I almost protested Gannon’s choice of Pizza Hut for lunch that day, but it turned out to be an excellent choice. You just never know in advance what lessons and reminders you’ll learn while waiting for pizza.

Pizza Hut box

 

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, importance of doing good things, just doing the best we can, Kansas, lessons about life, making a difference, memories for great-grandchildren, special days in April, special quotations, spending time with kids

A PINCH OF SALT

Burger King

 

 

Morton Salt

On this day in 1998, Burger King advertised a “Left-Handed Whopper.” The ad was very successful, and many customers ordered the fake sandwich. It was April 1st, April Fool’s Day.     April is National Humor Month, and the left-handed burger got a lot of laughs.

In 1700, English pranksters popularized playing practical jokes on each other, and the slams and pranks continue. Am I the only one who thinks that many of the things we’ve seen and heard recently from both the Democrat and Republican candidates seem like they should be followed by a laugh and the words, “April Fools! Just kidding!”

Through the years there have been many surprising and hurtful “jokes” played on adults and children on April 1st.    Years ago, long before dementia got in the way, my mother said that on April Fool’s Day  everyone should treat the day with a pinch of salt (meaning to maintain a degree of doubt or caution). Even with salt ready to pinch, I think there are certain topics that should NOT be jokingly used:   being offered a job or being fired from a job;   marriage proposals or divorce suggestions;   the results of medical tests or procedures;   the loss of a pet.   I have heard of all these being used on April 1st, and when a joker says, “April Fools, only kidding!” it’s small comfort after a child has been told his hamster died, or an employer said he’d decided to hire his nephew in your place.

By the time you read this, April Fool’s Day will be almost over and on April 2nd you can celebrate Children’s Book Day or National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. But then on April 3rd, Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day, you might want to rethink the suggestion.    And on April 4th, Tell A Lie Day, it’s almost another April Fools’ opportunity.

The good news is that April showers will bring May flowers, and April is also National Poetry Month. Read or write humorous poems, and you’ll have it covered. Skip over Plan Your Epitaph Day on April 6th, and make the most of the 7th, which is both National Beer Day and No Housework Day, and you’re on your way. Just don’t play mean tricks on anyone, okay?   They might not be armed with a pinch of salt to protect themselves.

April 1, 1984, singer-song writer Marvin Gaye is shot and killed by his father.

April 1, 1984, singer-song writer Marvin Gaye was shot and killed by his father.

April showers bring May flowers.

April showers bring May flowers.

April 1, 1970, President Nixon signed legislation banning cigarette ads on TV and radio.

April 1, 1970, President Nixon signed legislation banning cigarette ads on TV and radio.

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons about life, memories for great-grandchildren, special days in April, special quotations

OH, JOE! (More Than Just Food And Drink)

"Sloppy Joe"-- when a messy sandwich is a full meal.

“Sloppy Joe”– when a messy sandwich is a full meal…and fun.

 

 

 

Espresso is something to take seriously.  Don't give any to a child, or a kitten.

Espresso is caffeine to take seriously. Don’t give any to a child, or a kitten.

Here’s a short list of baby names in 2015: Swayze, Orson, D’Artagnan, Nyx, Fenella, Larkyn and Monet.   So far in 2016, some of the names are Mhavrych, Beberly, C’andre, and Abcde.

Then there’s Joe. In the early 1900s, Joe (or Joseph) was the fifth most popular baby name, and in 2011 it ranked 22nd in popularity. And that doesn’t include Joe Cool, Average Joe, G.I. Joe, Sloppy Joe, or the feminine Jo, JoAnn, Joey and Joley. Joe is one of America’s most popular, enduring names, as evidenced in actors, sports legends, politicians, phrases, and establishments.

March 27 is National Joe Day. Celebrate it over a cuppa joe with friends, and consider a secondary celebration: For one day, call yourself Joe (or some version of the name) and see what happens.  Supposedly, one day of being Joseph or Jo Ann will give you new insights. (Just don’t sign checks or any legal papers with your one-day name, or it will also give you a whole new set of problems.)

Changing your name for one day gives you a chance to see the world—and yourself—differently.  Is JOE or JO ANN kinder, smarter, happier, more hopeful or helpful?   Does JOE or JO ANN order foods you don’t like, get more done, or kick back and enjoy being a couch potato?  If for a day you’re JOE or JO ANN, will you take a risk, apologize to someone, express what you’re really feeling, sing in public, hug a stranger, or confront a bully?

National Joe Day is yours to do with as you will. It’s not like entering the Witness Protection Program or legally changing your name.   It’s just one day to be someone else and see the day through new eyes.   Or just have a cuppa joe with a friend and talk about what it would be like—good or bad—to have a different name for a day, and be a different person.  This isn’t an exercise to experience what  it’s like to have Alzheimer’s or dementia, but you might be surprised.

Senator and Vice President, Joe Biden

Senator and Vice President, Joe Biden

Shoeless Joe Jackson. Supposedly his nickname came from wearing on his socks while trying to get used to his new baseball shoes.

Shoeless Joe Jackson. Supposedly his nickname came from wearing only his socks while trying to break in his new baseball shoes.

Saint Joseph, husband to Mary.  (All Joe/Joseph pictures, Wickipedia)

Saint Joseph, husband to Mary. (All Joe/Joseph pictures, Wikipedia)

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, experiments, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, memories for great-grandchildren, Special Days in March

THANKS A LOT

Anne Lamott's book IMG_5408

 

 

Thank You cookie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I visited my mother recently, I delivered two gifts from her great-granddaughter.   One was a package of Lemonades, and these shortbread cookies with lemon icing were for Grace’s Mor-Mor-Mor (my mom).   The other was a package of Thanks-a-Lot, chocolate-iced cookies with the message of Thank You (in five languages) baked into the shortbread side. These were for my mother’s caregivers, and Grace had made a sign thanking them for taking good care of her great-grandmother.

This tradition of expressing gratitude by giving Thanks-a-lot cookies began long before Grace was old enough to be a Girl Scout. When she was just a toddler, Molly and the kids bought packages of Thanks-a-lot cookies.  They  took them to the police station to give to the Dispatchers, thanking them for keeping their daddy safe while he was on duty.

Girl Scouts have been selling cookies as their fundraiser since 1933.   In WWII they also sold calendars because of the shortage of flour, butter and sugar.   Tomorrow is Girl Scouts Day.   For the next week, if you know of a Daisy, Brownie or Girl Scout who is selling cookies to offset troop expenses and fund camp and other activities, buying a box or two is a good way to show your support.

In addition to Thanks-a-lot cookies in five languages, here are some of my favorite quotes in English about feeling—and expressing—gratitude.

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ~Meister Eckhart (German theologian and mystic in the 1300s)

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A.A. Milne, WINNIE THE POOH

“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” ~Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward, FOUNTAINS OF FAITH

And for those of you who are fans of Anne Lamott’s book BIRD BY BIRD, she has another book also destined to become a classic: HELP, THANKS, WOW—The Three Essential Prayers.

two pkgs of cookies

Asante Thank You cookies

Gracias cookies

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, importance of doing good things, lessons about life, memories for great-grandchildren, Special Days in March, special quotations, Things to be thankful for

Donated Inspiration

It's no longer a war theme, but a challenge to choose a single word.

It’s no longer a war theme, but a challenge to choose a single word.

Winter can be hard on us all. What can we choose to get us going...and stay focused?

Winter can be cold, barren. What word will get us going…and keep us focused?  (picture by Marylin Warner)

 

 

Television talk shows have been giving attention to the topic of how single word themes are replacing lists of New Year’s Resolutions. Motivational specialists seemed to agree this is a wise move, selecting a single word to give your thoughts and actions focus throughout the year.

One program asked viewers to Tweet their single word themes. By the end of the segment, these were some of the words scrolling across the bottom of the screen: unafraid, release, balance, achieve, persevere, observe, win, play, simplify, learn. The word that came to my mind was very different.

For several years, I volunteered at the local Women’s Thrift House on the third Saturday of each month. I was often amazed—and sometimes saddened—by the handmade items and gifts that were dropped off as donations. Knitted scarves and gloves, pottery bowls and pitchers, crocheted baby blankets and booties. Some were donated in their gift boxes, and a few still had sweet cards written to the recipients by the senders.

One Saturday eight years ago, I couldn’t stop thinking about one of the handmade items, so at the end of the day I purchased it. The one-word hand-stitched message was matted and framed, and it was like a reminder tapping me on the shoulder: YAGOTTAWANNA

I took the 5”x7” framed message with me to show my mom on the next visit, and I remember she studied it a moment to figure it out. Then she laughed and said, “I think this message was made for you, Marylin. No matter what, when you really, really want to do something, you find a way to do it.”

That was then, and now my one word for 2016 is YAGOTTAWANNA, a reminder that if there’s something I need to do, want to do, hope to do…my first step is to grasp the reason WHY I really, really want to do it. The Why will guide me to the HOW…and the commitment to get it done.

I have three supporters in my corner. The first is Confucius: “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Abraham Lincoln is the second: “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than anything else.”

Third, and best of all, is my mom, who believed this message was made for me as a reminder that there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do if I really, really wanted to do it.

Yagottawanna

 

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Filed under art projects, Dementia/Alzheimer's, importance of doing good things, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, making a difference, memories for great-grandchildren, special quotations, writing, writing exercises