Category Archives: Dementia/Alzheimer’s

STRENGTH FROM DEEP ROOTS

(My favorite Sandzen painting from the Birger Sandzen Memorial Gallery in Lindsborg, KS)

(My favorite Sandzen painting from the Birger Sandzen Memorial Gallery in Lindsborg, KS)

 

 

(Early autumn glory in Abilene, Kansas)

(Early autumn glory in Abilene, Kansas)

Last week when I visited my mother, at night as she lay snuggled under the quilt on her bed I read aloud to her from chapters in Robert Fulghum’s ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN.   Mom had been a kindergarten teacher at one time, and before she became lost in dementia, she really enjoyed this book.

But that evening I flipped the book open to the wrong chapter about villagers in the Solomon Islands who had a unique way of taking down a tree.   They didn’t chop it down with axes; the entire village yelled at the tree every day for a month, and the tree fell over.   When I read this aloud, Mom frowned.   With her eyes still closed she scrunched up her face and adamantly shook her head NO!.

After my parents built our house on a large empty lot in 1953, my mother planted 16 varieties of trees (27 trees, total) and did all the landscaping herself.   She has always loved trees, and by example she taught me to love them, too.

As an apology for reading about the villagers killing trees by yelling at them—even though it was meant as a lesson for children to always using kind, gentle words—and also in tribute to my mother, I dedicate this post to all of us who love trees.   And just for the record, to make up for my mistake that night, I read aloud to Mom for another hour, but only from the chapters that made her smile.

As Andrea Koehle Jones wrote in THE WISH TREES, “I’m planting a tree to teach me to gather strength from my deepest roots.”

And as a concluding reminder of the long-term importance of trees, Jim Robbins, author of THE MAN WHO PLANTED TREES, wrote this: “Planting trees may be the single most important ecotechnology that we have to put the broken pieces of our planet back together.”

(Woodrow Wilson tree on my walking route in Colorado Springs.)

(“Woodrow Wilson tree” on my walking route in Colorado Springs.)                              

(Kansas sunset)

(Kansas sunset)

 

(Easter egg tree near Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.)

(Children’s Easter egg tree near Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.)

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Filed under autumn lessons, Dementia/Alzheimer's, Fort Scott Kansas, gardening, importance of doing good things, kindergarten lessons about life, making a difference, memories for great-grandchildren, special quotations, Spiritual connections, Things to be thankful for

DOUBLE LIVING

seasons-of-my-self-book

 

 

The message I wrote to my mom inside the blank writing book I gave to her.

(The message I wrote to my mom inside the blank writing book I gave to her.)

Christmas of 1976, I gave my mother an Abbey Press writing book titled SEASONS OF MYSELF.  Through the years, she penned several stories on the blank pages of her book, including one story about “Marrying The Right Man.”   In it she changed the names and some details, but the emotional truths stayed the same.   This was long before her dementia, and she had a talent for writing honest, compelling tales.

Mom had told me of her junior year in college, when two very different but equally wonderful young men wanted to marry her.   In the end, she of course chose the man who later became my father, but a great deal of solitary thought and prayer—and wondering What If?—had gone into her decision.   Reading the story and remembering her process taught me to pause with my own writing ideas and spend time considering the many possibilities of “What if?”

In response to her story, I asked myself what if Mom had chosen the “other guy”?   How would her life story have been different?   And what would have been my story, the stories of her grandchildren and great-grand-children…and so on? What if?  Hmm.

( What If?)

       ( What If?)

On the back cover of the “Write your Own Book,” the publisher offers suggestions for uses and also shares quotes of famous writers. My mother put two check marks by Catherine D. Bowen’s quote: “Writing is not apart from living. Writing is a kind of double living.”   Later in the journal Mom wrote that quote again and defined it this way:  “Double does not mean double dealing or double cross, but in having twice the usual size, strength, consideration and power for understanding.”

September 28th is “Ask A Stupid Question Day.”   Instead, maybe we should ask a smart question—What If?—and then write our own responses so we can experience the best kind of double living.

(The back cover of uses and quotes printed on the writing book, SEASONS of MYSELF)

(The back cover of uses and quotes printed on the writing book, SEASONS of MYSELF)

Top picture: Me holding Molly as a baby. Lower picture: Molly holding her baby, Grace.  What If? my mother had married the other guy?

Top picture: Me holding Molly as a baby.  Lower picture: Molly holding her baby, Grace. What If? my mother had married the other guy?

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Filed under "Christmas Memories With Mom", Books and book titles, Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons about life, life questions, making a difference, special quotations, writing exercises

GROG ON YOUR FURNER

(No Keelhauling on Sept. 19th)

(No Keelhauling on Sept. 19th)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aye, ‘tis the perfect time for expandin’ your language, it is.  Here are some choices for the coming weeks: Talk Like a Politician, Talk Like a Foul-Mouthed Middle-Schooler…or Talk Like A Pirate and do some good.

September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, a holiday created in 1995.   It remained a low-key event until 2002 when humor columnist Dave Barry covered it in a syndicated article.   As he wrote, “There comes a time in a man’s life when he hears the call of the sea.  If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.”    (I’ll add that the same is probably true for a wench, the pirate word for lady, although a man should not risk using this term loosely around a lady who is stronger than he is…)

Next Monday is a good excuse to ignore politicians and foul-mouthed kids.   Instead, have some fun swaggering around, talking like Jack Sparrow and enjoying a free donut at Krispy Kreme. (Google Talk Like a Pirate for vocabulary words, and check to see if your Krispy Kreme is participating.)

Even more important than costumes and fun, Talk Like A Pirate Day has also become a day to raise funds for charity organizations such as Childhood Cancer Support and Marie Curie Cancer Care.

On September 19, “Put On Your Pirate”—in costume or attitude, sprinkle in a few choice pirate words—and drink a toast to Grog on Your Furner.   (FYI—translated, that’s to lift a glass of your favorite pirate drink on your own ship…not a ship you stole or plundered.)

And while the Grog has you in a generous mood, be a good pirate and make a donation to a worthy charity of your choice.  Alzheimer’s Research is a worthy cause, just in case you need one.

Pirate and Skull and crossbone donuts at participating Krispy Kreme

Pirate and Skull and crossbone donuts at participating Krispy Kreme

skull-donut

Disney's Jack Sparrow, (Johnny Depp).

Disney’s Jack Sparrow, (Johnny Depp).

 

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Filed under celebrations, Dementia/Alzheimer's, importance of doing good things, making a difference, Special Days in March

HIS OWN ZIP CODE

Smokey The Bear prepares for lift off at the 2016 Labor Day Hot Air Balloon festival in Colorado Springs.

(Smokey The Bear prepares for lift off at the 2016 Labor Day Hot Air Balloon festival in Colorado Springs.)

(The original Smokey Bear cub, healing after being rescued from the NM fire.)

(The original Smokey Bear cub, healing after being rescued from the NM fire.)

In 1950, after crews battled a forest fire in New Mexico, they also rescued a lost bear cub clinging to a charred tree.  He had been seriously burned but was fighting to survive.  During his months of recovery, the cub—appropriately named Smokey Bear—received numerous gifts, especially honey.   During the years that followed, he also received so many letters and cards that the post office gave him his own zip code.  His image became the logo for fire prevention, and when he died in 1976, the message of Smokey the Bear lived on.

In recent years, many thousands of acres have been destroyed, numerous homes and businesses burnt to the ground, and lives lost in forest fires in Colorado, New Mexico, California, Wyoming, Idaho and Oregon.   Smokey’s message is “Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires,” and authorities estimate that nearly 2/3 could be prevented by humans.

Smokey’s fire safety reminders also extend to home cooking.   In America, 16% of home fire deaths and 40% of serious injuries to humans and pets are a result of cooking accidents and carelessness.

Years ago, while my mother was boiling chicken to make dumplings for a church dinner, she was called out to help a neighbor.   If you have ever experienced the horrible smoke damage and blackened ceilings caused by burned chicken, then you understand why I offer this public service reminder on her behalf.

As Smokey might also say, “Only You Can Prevent Kitchen Fires.”   If you have family or friends who have memory loss or mental confusion, remember that kitchen fires are a very real danger. Take action to protect them.   only-you-can-prevent-forest-fires

(When you volunteer for the National Park Service, you meet the nicest people...and sometimes bears, too.)

(When you volunteer for the National Park Service, you meet the nicest people…and sometimes bears, too.)

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Filed under Cooking With Mom, Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons for great-grandchildren, special quotations

Writing RAZZIE Titles

Everything I Knos about women

 

 

Does God Ever Speak

 

Last week’s post offered four No Fee, Cash Prize writing contests.  This week’s post shares a fun (and funny) activity that can shake loose writing ideas and get you thinking of new titles and topics: Write Razzie Titles.

In the movie world, Razzies are the opposite of Academy Awards.   GRA (Golden Raspberry Awards) are given for the “worst” movies (and actors, directors, etc.)   There’s no accounting for choices. A good example is Neil Diamond, nominated for both a Golden Globe award for best actor, and a Razzie for worst actor, for the same 1980’s movie THE JAZZ SINGER.

Just for the fun of it, this week try creating a book, short story or poem title that could win a Razzie award.   Years ago my mother was visiting when I was teaching  this activity in one of my Writing To Publish classes for high school students.  She had a great time—and a lot of laughs—with some of the students’ “bad” titles.   Then when they traded titles and wrote the opening lines for another student’s title, the ideas really took shape.   This activity is definitely  a nonthreatening  way to shake loose the cobwebs and fear of writing and come up with creative prompts and writing exercises that lead to real projects.

Oh, how I wish Mom’s dementia would float away so she could again laugh at these titles and maybe even write possible first lines. Because her dementia refuses to budge, I’ll share these actual book titles with you and see what you come up with.

Have fun! (And then get down to business and write.)

 

Invisible DickMommy Drinks

How to Raise your IQ

 

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, experiments, just doing the best we can, writing, writing exercises

IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE

 

Zen wriing

 

 

mind's eye pencil

 

Many of you know from other posts that before my mother’s dementia, she and I used to make a game of finding and entering writing contests.   We learned these basic writing lessons along the way: 1) writing to the guidelines of a contest keeps you thinking and practicing your skill;   2) even if you don’t win or place in the contest, you’ll have a completed story that you can build on and submit elsewhere; and   3) no writing effort is ever wasted, and you might be surprised where this effort will lead.

This week I’m posting four writing contests that have NO ENTRY FEE but offer Cash Prizes and/or publication. No matter where you reside or what your age or writing experience, there is at least one contest for you!

First, here are two fiction reminders.   Writer, producer and director Joss Whedon says: “You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, and you find out who they really are.”   And sci-fi writer Iain Banks adds, “The trouble with writing fiction is that it has to make sense, whereas real life doesn’t.”

Now the contests:

INTERGENERATION SHORT STORY CONTEST sponsored by Intergeneration Foundation: http://intergenerationmonth.org/enter-the-contest/   No genre restrictions; electronic submissions by 9/30/2016;   400 words maximum, international eligibility. Awards: $500, $300, $200

KEY WEST LITERARY SEMINAR EMERGING WRITER AWARDS sponsored by Key West Literary Seminar for short fiction, novel excerpts, and individual poems. http://www.kwls.org/awards/emerging-writer-awards/ Electronic submission deadline 9/12/2016 Top awards $500   US writers

SUNDAY TIMES EFG SHORT STORY AWARD, sponsored by Society of Authors. Guidelines at http://shortstoryaward.co.uk/   All fiction genres, story length maximum 6,000 words, submit postal and electronic, international eligibility for writers of all levels, age 18 and older with publication experience in UK.   Deadline 9/29/16   Top winner £30,000

REAL SIMPLE: LIFE LESSONS Essay Contest (this could also make a good writing prompt or journal topic) on this theme: “What was the most dramatic change you ever had to make?” 1,500 words max   US writers www.realsimple.com/lifelessonscontest      Prizes: $3,000, $750, $500  Submit electronic submissions by 9/19/2016

Based on previous writing posts, you know you can try writing your rough drafts with your left hand, your right hand, or mirror writing in crayons or chalk.   Just choose a contest or topic and give it a try. And if you know of other contests and writing opportunities, please share them with us.hey you, get busy

Itypewriter MG_3621

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons about life, life questions, paying writing opportunities, special quotations, writing, writing contest with cash prizes, writing exercises

Wild Dog Becomes First Friend

The Desiderata of HappinessIMG_5708

 

Scouts's closeup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of my favorite descriptions of dogs is from THE JUNGLE BOOK by Rudyard Kipling: “When the Man waked up he said, ‘What is Wild Dog doing here?’  And the Woman said, ‘His name is not Wild Dog any more, but First Friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.’”

Many writers in addition to Kipling have written about the wonder of dogs.   Here are three examples.  Agatha Christie wrote, “Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.”   Emily Dickinson said, “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.”   And Dean Koontz, who includes dogs in his life and most of his novels, said, “Once  you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one is a life diminished.”

In my July 22 post of Friday Favorites, I included this line from Max Ehrmann’s 1927 book, DESIDERATA: “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” As it turns out, DESIDERATA has a recent edition called DESIDERATA FOR DOG LOVERS: A Guide to Life and Happiness.   If you’re a cat or horse person, there are books for you, too.               The Desiderata for Dog Lovers

Our family has been blessed by rescue dogs. Our beloved Maggie has been gone more than a year, but she continues to touch our minds and hearts, just as she did for 13 years.   Our puppy Scout from the Humane Society has warmed our hearts, made us laugh and sigh, kept us on our toes, and taught us patience.   My parents’ beloved Fritz came from the shelter, and our daughter’s family’s amazing German shepherd was given to them by a soldier who was being deployed and needed a perfect home for Duchess.

August is a special month to help animals in need, and August 26 is National Dog Day.  You can help dogs on this day, but you can also help cats, horses, birds, etc., by donating food, money, supplies or time to your local shelter or Humane Shelter.   When you drop off canned goods to your local mission or food pantry, remember that many homeless and elderly people also have dogs they love and need help to feed and care for them, so include cans of food or supplies for them, too.

The famous advice columnist, Ann Landers, wrote “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”   But in my opinion, if you do something that will help an animal in need, you absolutely will be wonderful.

The Desiderata for Cat Lovers

The Desid for Horse Lovers

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, Different kinds of homes, friends, importance of doing good things, lessons about life, making a difference