THANKS A LOT

Anne Lamott's book IMG_5408

 

 

Thank You cookie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I visited my mother recently, I delivered two gifts from her great-granddaughter.   One was a package of Lemonades, and these shortbread cookies with lemon icing were for Grace’s Mor-Mor-Mor (my mom).   The other was a package of Thanks-a-Lot, chocolate-iced cookies with the message of Thank You (in five languages) baked into the shortbread side. These were for my mother’s caregivers, and Grace had made a sign thanking them for taking good care of her great-grandmother.

This tradition of expressing gratitude by giving Thanks-a-lot cookies began long before Grace was old enough to be a Girl Scout. When she was just a toddler, Molly and the kids bought packages of Thanks-a-lot cookies.  They  took them to the police station to give to the Dispatchers, thanking them for keeping their daddy safe while he was on duty.

Girl Scouts have been selling cookies as their fundraiser since 1933.   In WWII they also sold calendars because of the shortage of flour, butter and sugar.   Tomorrow is Girl Scouts Day.   For the next week, if you know of a Daisy, Brownie or Girl Scout who is selling cookies to offset troop expenses and fund camp and other activities, buying a box or two is a good way to show your support.

In addition to Thanks-a-lot cookies in five languages, here are some of my favorite quotes in English about feeling—and expressing—gratitude.

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ~Meister Eckhart (German theologian and mystic in the 1300s)

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A.A. Milne, WINNIE THE POOH

“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” ~Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward, FOUNTAINS OF FAITH

And for those of you who are fans of Anne Lamott’s book BIRD BY BIRD, she has another book also destined to become a classic: HELP, THANKS, WOW—The Three Essential Prayers.

two pkgs of cookies

Asante Thank You cookies

Gracias cookies

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, importance of doing good things, lessons about life, memories for great-grandchildren, Special Days in March, special quotations, Things to be thankful for

CHOOSING THE ONE YOU LOVE?

Before her dementia, my mother's favorite garden flowers were roses and lilacs. (pictures by Marylin Warner)

Before her dementia, my mother’s favorite garden flowers were roses and lilacs. (pictures by Marylin Warner)

lilacs

 

She would have hated the Corpse Flower, which smells like a rotting animal. Fortunately, it blooms for less than 48 hrs., every 7-10 years.

She would have hated the Corpse Flower, which smells like a rotting animal. Fortunately, it blooms for less than 48 hrs., every 7-10 years. (This one bloomed in Denver last August.)

Drinking coffee upset my mother’s stomach, but she loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee. When I came home from school after my mother had hosted a group or club, as she cleaned up she would empty the coffee pot last, and I’d watch her breath deeply and smile. Now her dementia has diminished her appreciation of favorite smells, and she no longer responds to coffee, fresh pineapple, frying bacon, or the scents of lilacs or roses.

The power of smell is undeniable. My favorite descriptions in books are often about scent. One of my favorites is from author Neil Gaiman’s AMERICAN GODS: “The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.”

This week I was surprised to learn about a new plan for matching up couples.  Those of you looking for perfect mates can forget about going online, trying speed dating or lunch-only meetings, filling out long questionnaires or trusting the blind dates arranged by friends. Instead, trust what your nose tells you.

Several services offer matching mates by smell. One of them, Smell of Success, sends each participant a T-shirt to wear for 3 days—no using deodorants, powders, colognes or after shaves allowed—then mail back the T-shirt. Each person will receive at least 10 samples cut from the shirts of other participants to sniff at their leisure. After they choose, the service provides phone numbers. (Currently, this service is available only in New York.)

Before my dad died of Alzheimer’s, he and my mother were married more than sixty years. I remember once asking Mom what made her fall in love with Dad when he was a gangly kid in high school.  She laughed and said, “Well, it wasn’t how he smelled. He used this goop stuff in his hair, and he wore more Old Spice than my brothers and their friends put together.”

This from the woman who loved the smell of coffee but couldn’t drink it without getting an upset stomach. Yet she fell in love—and stayed in love—with my over-scented dad.   Ah, the surprising power of true love.

Imagine how THIS T-shirt would smell after 3 days...

Imagine how THIS T-shirt would smell after 3 days… True love?

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Filed under Books and book titles, Dementia/Alzheimer's, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, life questions, special quotations

Innie or Outie?

 

old school picture

setting sun outside Ft Scott

Is There Life After HS?

Are you an innie or an outie?   The question has nothing to do with navels.

Recently, as the cashier rang up my groceries in the checkout line, I overheard the chatter between the young man bagging my groceries and a younger grocery bagger for the next line. “First, you have to admit if you’re an innie or an outie,” he said to her.

The cashier and I exchanged looks of surprise.

As it turned out, the young man, home from college and working over the weekend, was describing a psychology course that compared high school perceptions with future expectations and achievements.   The course included Ralph Keyes’ 1979 book, IS THERE LIFE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?  “Innies” in high school were basically popular insiders: “outies” were outsiders who had less popular or well known friends and less public activities.  Briefly, the young man assured the high school girl that ongoing studies revealed that many outies often did better in the long run than innies, but students in the middle of the two were most likely to rise up and achieve multiple successes.   He concluded by winking at the girl and saying, “Be proud if you’re an outie. Think of all the really successful people who didn’t bloom until after high school.”

For 30 years I taught high school students, and while the bagger’s summary was incomplete, he did capture some of the main points. Ralph Keyes’ closing for his book is called “101 Ways To Get High School Off Your Back,” and the examples are a mix of funny, exaggerated, and thought-provoking suggestions.   For both students and teachers, high school is, at best, a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly for “innies” and “outies” and everyone in the middle.

But here’s some good news: the most embarrassing, off-the-wall, funny experiences you had in high school might become winning entries in The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. There is NO entry fee, but $2,500 in prizes, and First Place receives $1,000. It’s an open contest, the deadline is April 1, and if you don’t want to write about high school humor, write about any topic that makes you smile, blush, or laugh out loud.

Your poem can be long, short, rhyming or not. Even if you don’t write poetry, use the link below to click on previous winners.  You can have a lot of fun and might be inspired to jump in and give it a try!   https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/wergle-flomp-humor-poetry-contest-free

 

One of my favorite greeting cards.  Could be a prompt for a poem about working out, high school angst, or awkward efforts in general.

One of my favorite greeting cards could be a prompt for a poem about working out, high school angst, or awkward efforts in general.

 

 

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Scout: The Girl And The Dog

Nelle Harper Lee

Nelle Harper Lee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lee's two books

Nelle Harper Lee died today. Better known as just Harper Lee, she was author of one of my favorite novels, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and also the novel I liked much less, GO SET A WATCHMAN. In fact, I agree with the critics who argue that Harper Lee possibly did not intend for it to be published, at least not as it was.

In TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, the character of Dill was based on author Truman Capote, Harper Lee’s close friend and author of IN COLD BLOOD.   The character of Scout was based on Harper Lee.   The character of Atticus Finch, Scout’s widowed father, the attorney who defended a black man in a controversial case, is one of my most-loved characters of all time, but only in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. The Finch character in  GO SET A WATCHMAN doesn’t appear on my list of favorites.

When we adopted our puppy from the Humane Society in December, I named her Scout. That’s how much I loved the book character, the young girl with moxie, courage, curiosity and loyalty…and very little understanding of how the real world worked.   Which was pretty much a spot-on description of our puppy…then and now.

Charles Schultz, creator of PEANUTS, wrote that “Happiness is a warm puppy.” I would add that real happiness is a warm, potty-trained puppy, and we’re almost to that happiness goal. American radio and television writer Andy Rooney said, “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person,” and I can say with confidence that our puppy Scout is definitely going to be a nice person. Funny, too, plus very affectionate.

In appreciation to Harper Lee and TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, I sincerely thank her for the character Scout.  In the book, she says that Atticus “…told me to delete the adjectives and I’d have the facts.”     This is good advice in general, but also especially for writers.

Today, February 20, is LOVE YOUR PET DAY.   Dog or cat, bird or iguana, whatever your pet, this is a good day to show extra affection, share a few special treats, or make a contribution to your local animal shelter.    February 22 is WALKING THE DOG DAY.  Our Scout is still at the puppy stage, walking us, tugging the leash toward every sound, exploring everything in her path, and carrying sticks like trophies.  But sometimes, if we pause and try to see and hear the world as she does, it really is quite amazing.

So here I will close with another line by Harper Lee in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD:    “People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for.”

Our daughter Molly posing with Scout for the camera.

Our daughter Molly poses with Scout for the camera.

 

Our granddaughter Grace is a warm and helpful training partner for Scout.

Our granddaughter Grace is a warm and helpful training partner for Scout

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Filed under Books and book titles, Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons about life, lessons for great-grandchildren, Special days in February, special quotations, Things to be thankful for

Ten Minutes A Day…

I wonder if this mother allowed herself 10 minutes to dig AND enjoy her baby.

I wonder if this mother allowed herself 10 minutes to dig AND enjoy her baby, or if that counts as 20 minutes.  And what about the dog?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Multitasking--divided into ten minute chores--could be much more effective... right?

Multitasking–divided into ten-minute chores–would be even more effective… right?

I was in elementary school when a magazine article featured a ten-minute plan to organize women’s responsibilities and, therefore, improve their lives. As I recall, this was the basic plan: each day, if a busy woman set a timer for 10 minutes and focused on just one specific room, at the end of each week her home would be pleasantly presentable and organized.

For one week Mom and her neighbor friend tried it: the first day was to clean the bathroom; the second day was the living room, the third and fourth days were for the kitchen; the fifth day was a closet (one closet per week). They decided the last two days—weekends—could be when the parents and children cleaned their own bedrooms and then added ten more minutes to vacuum the carpets. Ten minutes a day, sixty minutes a week, and voila! it would all be done.

To some degree, my mother already quickly straightened rooms before she went to work or after she came home, and I remember that she and her friend laughed at some of the things that wore them out (and the corners they cut) during their experiment. They quit the ten-minute plan after a week, although I do remember my mom continued to sometimes set a timer for us to complete certain chores. This made it a game; the faster we finished the work, the sooner we could go outside and play.

Before Dad’s Alzheimer’s and Mom’s dementia moved them out of their home and into an assisted living apartment, my mother had her own style: clean whatever was dirty, comfort whoever was hurt, fix what was broken, take joy in sunrises, draw strength from quiet times in her garden, laugh with her family and hug them, and sing as she worked. Although this took longer than ten minutes a day, I don’t remember her complaining.

Even after all these years, I still occasionally set a timer for ten minutes and give myself only that time to focus and get something done. It’s often for an undesirable or nagging chore, but when the timer goes off I’m surprised that the chore is finished, and I feel oh-so-much-better.

Wednesday, February 17th, is Random Acts of Kindness Day. If we each mentally set a timer for ten minutes and do just one kind thing for someone else, imagine what a good day that could be.

tulips in vase

This Valentine's Day, I wish you love, tulips, and deli chocolate cupcakes with fancy pink icing.  Enjoy.  (You have ten minutes to eat your cupcakes and get back to work, so get busy!)  ;)

This Valentine’s Day, I wish you love, tulips, and deli chocolate cupcakes with fancy pink icing. Enjoy. (You have ten minutes to eat your cupcakes and get back to work, so focus and get busy!)😉

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Filed under Dementia/Alzheimer's, experiments, friends, gardening, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, lessons for great-grandchildren, making a difference, Special days in February, spending time with kids

GET IT IN WRITING

Charlie Brown, of PEANUTS fame.  (book picture from Wikipedia; all other pictures by Marylin Warner)

Charlie Brown, of PEANUTS fame. (book picture from Wikipedia; all other pictures by Marylin Warner)

Stamps make mailed cards and letters extra special and come in an amazing assortment of choices.

Stamps make mailed cards and letters extra special and come in an amazing assortment of choices.

 

 

 

Charlie Brown was the star character of the popular comic strip by Charles Schultz, PEANUTS, which began in 1950. Charlie Brown’s wishful thinking about being noticed by the little red-haired girl began a theme of love disappointments that lasted for more than five decades.   This is one of his most often quoted cartoon lines: “There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters…I could be their leader.”

Charlie Brown didn’t want a phone call, a signature-only Valentine card, an email, a text or a twitter; he wanted a letter. Actor Keanu Reeves said this about a letter’s importance. “Letters are something from you. It’s a different kind of intention than writing an e-mail.”

Letters can be saved, to be read again and again. Greeting cards that arrive in the mail—especially with personal messages written inside—can be displayed on a bedside table or a shelf, reminders that someone, some-where still thinks of you and cares enough to stay in touch. Visit a nursing home, an assisted living, a hospital room or the home of an invalid to see how treasured the cards and letters are by those who receive them.

Valentine’s Day is still more than a week away. Plenty of time to buy a Valentine card, a greeting card of any kind, or even just write, type or print a letter to someone. One of my favorite quotes about happiness (attributed to numerous writers, including Joseph Addison) is this: “The grand essentials of happiness in this life are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.”

For lonely, ill, or older neighbors, family and friends, or those who are getting forgetful or suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, I would change the last grand essential to this: “…a grand essential of happiness is something that shows I’m remembered.”

To be remembered is a treasured gift.

She wrote this message in chalk to her Grandpa.

Grace wrote this message in chalk to her Grandpa.

 

Greeting cards can be much appreciated, too, if there's a personal message written inside.

Greeting cards are appreciated, too, if there’s a personal message written inside.

Years ago, when Grace was learning to write cursive, she wrote this for my mom.  Mor-Mor-Mor means mother's mother's mother in Swedish.

Years ago, when Grace was learning to write cursive, she wrote this for my mom. Mor-Mor-Mor means mother’s mother’s mother in Swedish.

Before Gannon could write, he "practiced" with chalk on the fence.

Before Gannon could write, he “practiced” with chalk on the fence.

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Filed under art, Different kinds of homes, friends, importance of doing good things, just doing the best we can, lessons about life, lessons for great-grandchildren, making a difference, Special days in February, special quotations

BEST INTENTIONS

Come on...who doesn't smile at the colors of the Red-Footed Boobie featured on Jeopardy?

Come on…who doesn’t smile at the colors of the Red-Footed Boobie featured on Jeopardy?

How can you brighten a gloomy winter day?

How can you brighten a gloomy winter day? Maybe a colorful breakfast?

 

 

 

 

My photo doesn't do justice to this delicious, colorful treat!

My photo doesn’t do justice to this delicious, colorful guacamole dip!

When I was in second grade, we had what felt like an extra long, very cold and dreary winter. My mother, who was an avid reader of magazine articles, created her own version of a helpful hint for brightening winter meals. She decided to cheer up our day by serving a colorful breakfast one morning.

We often had oatmeal to jump start cold mornings, but this time she made a big pan of Cream of Wheat. She added some to the dog’s food, and then she heaped servings in bowls for my brother, our dad and me. As we sat at the table waiting to eat, Mom added drops of green food coloring to my bowl and stirred the concoction, then blue to my brother’s, red to hers, and yellow to my dad’s. (His was actually laughable; it looked like she’d made ice cream from snow where the dog had piddled.) My mother had the best intentions for brightening our day, and it ended up working surprisingly well.

I remember us all sitting there, staring wide-eyed at bowls of food that looked like we’d tried to make science projects but had failed. My dad finally smiled, picked up his spoon, and said, “You always appreciate the cook.” The food tasted pretty much the same, and soon we were all laughing: our lips and teeth had been stained the color of our Cream of Wheat. So on that dreary day, at home and then at work and at school, we all probably made others smile, too.

Mary Zalmanek, my favorite non-fiction magazine writer in my Wednesday morning writing group, and also author of ART OF THE SPARK, often thrills the group by testing recipes on us. She brightened a recent Wednesday by bringing tortilla chips and a big bowl of her amazing homemade Guacamole with Pomegranates. It was colorful, uplifting, amazingly delicious, and she generously agreed to share her recipe here:  http://adventuresoftheheart.com/appetizers-pomegranate-guacamole-_529.html

This winter, and on any dreary day, rise to the occasion and create your own cheer. Spice up your life and the lives of others with a surprising burst of color.     blue pool waterpurple pool water

The hotel pool added water-changing colorful lights, which my grandson loved!

The hotel pool added water-changing colorful lights, which my grandson loved!

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