GROG ON YOUR FURNER

(No Keelhauling on Sept. 19th)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aye, ‘tis the perfect time for expandin’ your language, it is.  Here are some choices for the coming weeks: Talk Like a Politician, Talk Like a Foul-Mouthed Middle-Schooler…or Talk Like A Pirate and do some good.

September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, a holiday created in 1995.   It remained a low-key event until 2002 when humor columnist Dave Barry covered it in a syndicated article.   As he wrote, “There comes a time in a man’s life when he hears the call of the sea.  If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.”    (I’ll add that the same is probably true for a wench, the pirate word for lady, although a man should not risk using this term loosely around a lady who is stronger than he is…)

Next Monday is a good excuse to ignore politicians and foul-mouthed kids.   Instead, have some fun swaggering around, talking like Jack Sparrow and enjoying a free donut at Krispy Kreme. (Google Talk Like a Pirate for vocabulary words, and check to see if your Krispy Kreme is participating.)

Even more important than costumes and fun, Talk Like A Pirate Day has also become a day to raise funds for charity organizations such as Childhood Cancer Support and Marie Curie Cancer Care.

On September 19, “Put On Your Pirate”—in costume or attitude, sprinkle in a few choice pirate words—and drink a toast to Grog on Your Furner.   (FYI—translated, that’s to lift a glass of your favorite pirate drink on your own ship…not a ship you stole or plundered.)

And while the Grog has you in a generous mood, be a good pirate and make a donation to a worthy charity of your choice.  Alzheimer’s Research is a worthy cause, just in case you need one.

Pirate and Skull and crossbone donuts at participating Krispy Kreme

Disney’s Jack Sparrow, (Johnny Depp).

 

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OH, JOE! (More Than Just Food And Drink)

“Sloppy Joe”– when a messy sandwich is a full meal…and fun.

 

 

 

Espresso is caffeine to take seriously. Don’t give any to a child, or a kitten.

Here’s a short list of baby names in 2015: Swayze, Orson, D’Artagnan, Nyx, Fenella, Larkyn and Monet.   So far in 2016, some of the names are Mhavrych, Beberly, C’andre, and Abcde.

Then there’s Joe. In the early 1900s, Joe (or Joseph) was the fifth most popular baby name, and in 2011 it ranked 22^nd in popularity. And that doesn’t include Joe Cool, Average Joe, G.I. Joe, Sloppy Joe, or the feminine Jo, JoAnn, Joey and Joley. Joe is one of America’s most popular, enduring names, as evidenced in actors, sports legends, politicians, phrases, and establishments.

March 27 is National Joe Day. Celebrate it over a cuppa joe with friends, and consider a secondary celebration: For one day, call yourself Joe (or some version of the name) and see what happens.  Supposedly, one day of being Joseph or Jo Ann will give you new insights. (Just don’t sign checks or any legal papers with your one-day name, or it will also give you a whole new set of problems.)

Changing your name for one day gives you a chance to see the world—and yourself—differently.  Is JOE or JO ANN kinder, smarter, happier, more hopeful or helpful?   Does JOE or JO ANN order foods you don’t like, get more done, or kick back and enjoy being a couch potato?  If for a day you’re JOE or JO ANN, will you take a risk, apologize to someone, express what you’re really feeling, sing in public, hug a stranger, or confront a bully?

National Joe Day is yours to do with as you will. It’s not like entering the Witness Protection Program or legally changing your name.   It’s just one day to be someone else and see the day through new eyes.   Or just have a cuppa joe with a friend and talk about what it would be like—good or bad—to have a different name for a day, and be a different person.  This isn’t an exercise to experience what  it’s like to have Alzheimer’s or dementia, but you might be surprised.

Senator and Vice President, Joe Biden

Shoeless Joe Jackson. Supposedly his nickname came from wearing only his socks while trying to break in his new baseball shoes.

Saint Joseph, husband to Mary. (All Joe/Joseph pictures, Wikipedia)

FACING FEAR

Dentophobia (fear of dentists)

Cyclophobia  (fear of bicycles)  (all pictures by Marylin Warner)

Before her dementia, my mother loved to try the writing exercises I created for my students. Here is one of our favorites.

There are hundreds of phobias. Some are very familiar: Aerophobia (the fear of flying); Claustrophobia (the fear of being in tightly enclosed spaces); and one of the most common ~ Glossophobia (the fear of speaking in public).

For my classes, the assignment was to understand fears and incorporate them in the personalities of characters. I wrote out dozens of phobias (and their meanings) on slips of paper. Students drew a slip, and in one page they were to create a character suffering from that fear…and also create the event that made the character afraid.   My mom loved this activity because it didn’t stop with the WHAT, but also attempted to understand the WHY.   She was the kind of mother, teacher, friend, CASA volunteer and ally of children who believed that if people could identify both the WHAT and the WHY of their problems and worries, they had a very good chance of also finding a solution.

My mom was an avid learner who enjoyed new facts and ideas, and the phobias I selected were uncommon.   Here are some examples: Achluophobia (fear of darkness); Chorophobia (fear of dancing); Aulophobia (fear of flutes), Allodoxaphobia (fear of opinions); Arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth); and with apologies to my friends across the ocean, Anglophobia (fear of England and/or English culture).   Other phobias are illustrated on the pictures above and below.

Since Mom is deep in dementia now, I share these phobias with all of you. Have some fun with them, creating a possible WHAT and WHY for one… and maybe a solution as well.    March 26^th is “Make Up Your Own Holiday,” and you never know:  you might create a Freedom from A Phobia Holiday.  Don’t be afraid to give it a try!

Achluophobia (fear of darkness)

Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes)

THANKS A LOT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I visited my mother recently, I delivered two gifts from her great-granddaughter.   One was a package of Lemonades, and these shortbread cookies with lemon icing were for Grace’s Mor-Mor-Mor (my mom).   The other was a package of Thanks-a-Lot, chocolate-iced cookies with the message of Thank You (in five languages) baked into the shortbread side. These were for my mother’s caregivers, and Grace had made a sign thanking them for taking good care of her great-grandmother.

This tradition of expressing gratitude by giving Thanks-a-lot cookies began long before Grace was old enough to be a Girl Scout. When she was just a toddler, Molly and the kids bought packages of Thanks-a-lot cookies.  They  took them to the police station to give to the Dispatchers, thanking them for keeping their daddy safe while he was on duty.

Girl Scouts have been selling cookies as their fundraiser since 1933.   In WWII they also sold calendars because of the shortage of flour, butter and sugar.   Tomorrow is Girl Scouts Day.   For the next week, if you know of a Daisy, Brownie or Girl Scout who is selling cookies to offset troop expenses and fund camp and other activities, buying a box or two is a good way to show your support.

In addition to Thanks-a-lot cookies in five languages, here are some of my favorite quotes in English about feeling—and expressing—gratitude.

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ~Meister Eckhart (German theologian and mystic in the 1300s)

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A.A. Milne, WINNIE THE POOH

“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” ~Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward, FOUNTAINS OF FAITH

And for those of you who are fans of Anne Lamott’s book BIRD BY BIRD, she has another book also destined to become a classic: HELP, THANKS, WOW—The Three Essential Prayers.

A NEAR MISS

Be grateful for calm skies.
“Forever is composed of nows.” ~ Emily Dickinson

There are many days to celebrate in March.  Birthdays of family and friends, St. Patrick’s Day, the first day of Spring, and depending on our country of residence, some of us celebrate Mother’s Day this month, while others celebrate in May.

Regardless of where we live, we all should celebrate March 23^rd.   BIG TIME, with grateful hearts, and champagne toasts made in joy.   March 23^rd is “NEAR MISS DAY.”

On March 23, 1989, a mountain-sized asteroid passed through the exact position of the earth six hours earlier.   Had it collided, it would have released energy comparable to the explosion of a 600 megaton atom bomb and caused the largest explosion in recorded history.

But it didn’t.  “Near Miss Day” acknowledges and celebrates exactly that, a near miss.

We all know of many “near misses” in our lives and the lives of those we love. Every day is precious. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year,” and my favorite appreciation for each day is by A.A. Milne, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh. “What day is it?” ~ “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. ~ “My favorite day,” said Pooh.

This Monday, March 23^rd, and every day, may we be grateful for the near misses in our lives, and doubly aware of and grateful for the many blessings we receive.  Take nothing for granted.

 

“Winnipeg”–or Winnie–the female black bear that lived in London Zoo from 1915-1954 and inspired Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh, here with veterinarian Harry Colebourn.

Maya Angelou: “Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”

March is also “Deaf History Month” — here is the chart for American Sign Language.

LUCK BE A LADY

Crossing your fingers is one way to hope luck finds you. (picture by Marylin Warner)

This is how the ladies were NOT dancing, but they were still having a great time. (Picture from Classical Baby)

Snow and ice had already postponed our travels by two days. First, we had to wait an extra day to leave Colorado.  Fortunately our house sitter was flexible.  But when we arrived in Kansas, I had to wait another day to drive the last 200 miles to visit my mother in the southeast part of the state. I was very tired by the time I arrived.

I don’t know what I expected as I got off the elevator to go to Mom’s apartment. I was pulling my suitcase and balancing a bouquet of yellow lilies with a bag of groceries, but instead of the common area being calm and quiet on a dreary afternoon, the room rang with festive singing and laughter. Two nursing aides had loaded a dance DVD on the flat screen TV, and eight or nine older ladies—probably in their late 70s through early 90s—were moving to the music. Dancing in place or stepping around furniture or just tapping feet and waving arms from a wheelchair, they were creating their own indoor sunshine on a gloomy day.

As I watched, amazed, they took a breather between songs. And then one of the aides called out, “Ladies, get ready. The next one is ‘Luck Be A Lady Tonight’!” Everyone giggled and turned to watch the screen with their arms lifted, ready to ‘dance’ again. Regardless of the dreary weather and their ages and possible infirmities, these were ladies who were already making their own luck.

I had grown up hearing the expression “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” As I watched the gyrations to “Luck Be A Lady,” I amended that to “Luck is what happens when enthusiasm makes the most of music and movement.”

March 9 is GET OVER IT DAY. Whatever is bothering us, or if there is something we can’t change or should just let go of, maybe the best thing to do is make a decision to Get Over It, even for one day.   Or there’s an entire week—March 16-22—ACT HAPPY WEEK.    A full week to “fake it until you make it,” an opportunity to act the way you would like to feel.

March 16-22 is also WELLDERLY WEEK (aka WELL-ELDERLY), a time to ‘act your age’—or the age you want to feel—and do the things that make you happy. Whatever your age, if you need a suggestion to get started, you might put on Frank Sinatra singing “Luck Be A Lady” and dance to it in your own lucky style.

P.S. My mother is too frail to do much standing, let alone any dancing, but she made her own luck by curling up under her blankets and humming along to some of the poems I read to her!

“Hurry Back”–1st Place Overall painting by Nancy Luttrell, age 67. (I LOVE the detail in this painting!)

“Tropical Foliage”–this year’s Best of Show in ART IS AGELESS. Painter is Paul Johnston, age 81

Mid-March Madness

Are you DUMBSTRUCK? A Denver Bronco’s mask with a Wichita State Shockers T-shirt? Really? (Pictures by Marylin Warner)

Instructions for painting van Gogh’s swirly landscape. Do what Goodland, KS did and paint your art replica 80 feet high! Challenge what your friends think they know about you.

Don’t confuse this post with the March Madness of college championship basketball competitions.  This post is about MID-MARCH Madness, the three strange “special” March day designations that all take place on the same day: March 15^th.

Today, Saturday the 15^th of March, is on the Roman Calendar as both the first day of Spring…and the “Ides of March.” On this day in history Julius Caesar warned “Beware the Ides of March.”  It was the day he was stabbed by his friend Marcus Brutus. (“Et tu, Brutus?”) It was a lousy first day of Spring for Caesar.

Today is also “Dumbstruck Day.”  According to the description, you should prepare for something so shocking or surprising that you’re dumbstruck, unable to speak.

And finally, March 15^th is also “Everything You Think Is Wrong” Day.  Did the Ides of March later influence the other two designations?  If you think about it, on this last day in Julius Caesar’s life, surely everything he thought was one way, actually turned out to be just the opposite. His best friend stabbed him to death, which also would have made Caesar dumbstruck…

To prove wrong what you probably thought you knew—and to make you dumbstruck—see if you can match the real, original names of these people with their later name changes:    (answers at end of post)

___ 1. Albert Brooms  ——————————-A. Hulk Hogan

___ 2. Terry Jean Bollette —————————B. Howard Allen Francis O’Brien

___ 3. Pauline Ester Friedman ———————-C. Albert Einstein

___ 4. Ehrich Weiss———————————–D. Abigail Van Buren –“Dear Abby”

___ 5. Author Anne Rice—————————–E. Harry Houdini

Last week we turned our clocks forward by an hour for Daylight Savings Time.  My mother understood why DST was necessary in war time, and maybe also during the oil embargo to conserve oil. But why the rest of the time, the back and forth, dividing the country?  “Why do we cause all that confusion?” she used to ask.  “There are still only twenty-four hours in a day.”

Oh, how I wish Mom’s dementia would fade away for an hour!  Actually, I often wish that, but especially now, when I’ve found something she would laugh at and enjoy. It would confirm that she wasn’t the only one who thought this was wrong.

This is supposedly a Native American Indian comment: When told the reason for daylight savings time, a wise old Indian said this: “Only the White Man’s Government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket.” 

Don’t be discouraged about the three “down days” of March 15^th.  Take heart. Tomorrow, March 16^th, is “Everything You Do Is Right” Day.  But, as my mother used to say, “Each day is what you make of it.”

Answers to the Name Game: 1. C,  2. A,  3. D,  4. E,  5. B (really, it’s B–does that dumbfound you?)

Delicious ginger-bear cookie. What if your child wanted to eat 3 or 4 of these? Keep your answer in perspective…

Next to a quarter, it’s not a big cookie. Hey, at least I didn’t use a headless chicken to make the point this week!