During my freshman year in college, you and Dad were on campus for a board meeting. After a fancy dinner you stopped by my dorm to bring me a little bag of desserts from the hostess. Among the coconut meringues, the mini-chocolate éclairs and cherry tarts, a handful of fortune cookies had been tossed in like afterthoughts. These became the favorites. My roommate and I read the fortunes and decided we could write better messages than the originals. Soon we were laughing so loud that other freshmen on our floor joined in. As the night wore on, the fortunes got worse and worse, especially the ones we wrote for unreasonable professors, ex-boyfriends, or anyone who had done us wrong. (What happened in the dorm that night stayed in the dorm. We zipped our lips, agreeing not to repeat or send the fortunes.)
It’s hard to write good fortune cookie messages. Recently HuffPost Comedy posted “The Most Ridiculous Fortune Cookies of All Times.” Here are three of my favorites from their long list: 1) “Help! I’m being held hostage in a Fortune Cookie Factory.” 2) “Something wonderful is about to happy.” (sic) and 3) “Come back later…I’m sleeping.” (Yes, cookies need their sleep, too.)
Your great-grandson Gannon offered to write some fortunes for you, Mom. I think they’re very good for an 8-year-old third grader, especially since he carefully wrote each one in a different color:
(Click on Gannon’s fortunes to enlarge them)
Fortune cookies are fun desserts, Mom, but you never took them seriously. They were like horoscopes, you said, interesting to read but not reliable instructions for our personal lives. You pointed out that each horoscope applied to about 1/12 of the world’s population, and fortune cookies were mass-produced and randomly distributed.
But if I could give you just one fortune cookie with a message especially for you, here it is: “You will live A Wonderful Life!” (Your own life, and not Jimmy Stewart’s in the movie.)
You’re one of a kind, Mom, and I love you. Marylin
For Diana Bletter’s interview with Marylin Warner, go to her blog, The Best Chapter. http://thebestchapter.com/2012/10/28/everybody-needs-an-ideal-reader/#comment-785 ___________________________________________________________