BEST MOMENT AWARD

Best Moment Award for post, “Que Sera, Sera”

Dear Mom,

Do you remember the December 2012 post “Que Sera Sera”?  It was about our neighbor building a fallout shelter, and the funny secret–and a serious lesson–you shared with me about why we didn’t want to also build a shelter.

Last week Brittnay DeLong of http://busygirlhealth.wordpress.com/ selected “Que Sera Sera” for a special award. The BEST MOMENT AWARD is different from other awards because it’s for only one post, a reader’s favorite “best moment.”  ”Que Sera Sera” was one of your favorite posts, too.  When I read the post aloud to you, we laughed about how the schools had children hiding under their desks, and parents were encouraged to have special “plans” ready during the Cold War. (For the complete post, go to  http://warnerwriting.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/que-sera-sera-2/ )  For both of us, Mom, I proudly accept this award and sincerely thank Brittnay.

Today our blog, “Things I Want To Tell My Mother,” is nominating 8 special, specific posts for the BEST MOMENT AWARD.  These are truly  exceptional and memorable posts, and we hope our readers will click on the links and enjoy them:

~Darla Writes http://darsba.wordpress.com/2013/05/11/mothers-day-stories-collection/

~The Best Chapter http://thebestchapter.com/2013/04/30/tool-for-tuesday-if-you-lose-it-you-lose-it/

~Poems from Oostburg, Wisconsin http://ellenolinger.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/help-thanks-wow-by[anne-lamott/

~Earthrider http://earth-rider.com/2013/04/20/musical-memories-and-love/

~Just Rod http://reflectionsinpuddles.com/2013/05/15/the-new-shoes/

~Wacky World of Writing http://tracycampbell.net/blog/meet-budding-picassos/

The last two award nominees have very diverse posts, but their stories about being bloggers (one in America and the other in the UK) who became friends and visited with their families and then wrote posts about the visit deserve an award for each of them!

~Is it me?  http://tomstronach.blog.spot.com/2012/09/julia-and-oscar_8.html

~Julia Barrett’s World http://juliarachelbarrett.net/2012/09/new-friends/

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Rules for the BEST MOMENT AWARD:  1. These nominees (now winners) repost these rules completely after their acceptance speech. 2. Winners now have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a Thank You for those who helped them, a NEW list of people and blogs worthy of the award (up to 15), and the winners posted here will then notify their choices with the great news of receiving this special award.    Download the award's logo at MomentMatters.com/Award and post it with your acceptance.

Cold War prep. ~ LIFE Mag.

Marylin Warner and her mother Mary Shepherd with “Flat Grace” project

100th Post on “Things I Want To Tell My Mother”

1978 ~ Mary reading to two of her grandchildren

2007 ~ Mary reading to her great-grandchildren

Dear Mom,

Wow, May 4^th is ONE HUNDRED posts on our blog!  Amazing.

Our first post was on September 1^st of  2011. Since then we’ve shared stories about your life growing up on the farm in Missouri, raising your own family in Kansas, helping children through teaching, volunteering with CASA, and stepping in to help anyone who needed help.  We’ve held writing contests with cash prizes in your name—Mother’s Day Greeting Card Writing, Christmas Memories, and Poetry Writing—and we’ve shared some of your poems, essays and illustrated stories.  We’ve reminded readers of many unusual days on the calendar and posted inspiring quotes, favorite recipes and titles of books we’ve enjoyed.  We’ve featured friends and your great-grandchildren as guest bloggers, and we’ve shared information about Alzheimer’s and dementia.

We never missed a week, and some weeks we posted twice!

In the process, we greeted visitors and made new friends from all over the United States, from the UK, Canada, Australia, India, Israel and sixty-four other countries. These are readers who’ve laughed with us, cried at some of our stories, and cheered us on by sharing their stories. We are very grateful for all of them.

Today, for our 100^th post we’re going to share some interesting details about May, the month of our celebration.

The Roman poet Ovid wrote that the month of May is named for the maiores, Latin for “elders.”  In 1963, President John F. Kennedy established May as Older Americans Month. This is a month to respect seniors and celebrate longevity, which includes you, Mom, at the respectful age of almost 95!

When I was in elementary school, on the last day of April you and I made little holders of rolled construction paper and braided yarn for the handles. On May 1^st we picked crocus, daffodils and tulips, or if spring didn’t cooperate we filled the holders with small cookies and candy. I’d hang the little May Day baskets from the front door knobs of older neighbors’ houses, ring the bell, call out “Happy May Day!” and hurry away.

Next week, May 8^th is No Socks Day for all ages.  The idea is to set your toes free and give your feet a breath of fresh air. Go barefoot and smile at the comfort of cool grass, warm sand or swishing water.

The next day, May 9^th, follow up with Lost Sock Memorial Day. Search through drawers or behind the dryer, but if you can’t find the missing sock, take its lonely mate and give it a solitary use: as a dust cloth, a holder for buttons or coins, or make a hand puppet for a child or a chew toy for a pet. Or just dispose of it (gently, of course).

Next Sunday is the well known and widely celebrated Mothers Day, May 12.

A lesser known day is Saturday, May 11—Birth Mothers Day—which is more private. This day was originally set up for mothers to spend quiet moments thinking about or praying for the children they gave up for adoption…or for adopted children to do the same for their birth mothers.  It is intended as an anonymous tribute, and some houses of worship have special candles or flower vases set up for Birth Mothers to give prayers and thanks for the love and care given by Adoptive Mothers.

And finally, the last week of May is National Simultaneous Storytime, which we wish American parents, grandparents, teachers and librarians would vote to implement for our nation’s children.  In Australia, children’s libraries hold a special event where all public and school librarians read aloud the same book on the agreed upon day, at 11AM EST, to the children everywhere in Australia!

Well, Mom, this has been our 100^th post. Let’s thank our reading friends and give them cyber hugs for sharing in our adventure…and then it’s nap time.  Next week is post #101, and we’ll need our rest.

2010 ~ Mary’s great-grandchildren on farmer-type playground toys in Kansas (all photos by Marylin Warner)

1983 ~ Alien grandchildren on Mary’s front porch

THE DIFFERENCE ONE PERSON CAN MAKE

Chicken soup. It’s not just for colds and flu. (All pictures by Marylin Warner)

Dear Mom,

When I began writing this blog, my goal was to remember, collect and record as many special memories about you as possible so your grandchildren and great-grandchildren could know how special and wonderful you are. Along the way, you’ve had hours and days when your dementia took a break, and I’ve read to you some of the blog posts and comments from the readers.

This week I would have loved for you to be alert and aware enough to read a very special email from a wonderful friend you and I met through this blog. (http://www.darlawrites.com/)  In our blog last week, I reminded readers about the upcoming April 10 “Encourage a Young Writer” Day. Here is an excerpt of Darla McDavid’s reply:

Hi, Marylin:

I spoke with Chiara for Encourage a Young Writer Day.  Chiara is a fourth grade student who wants to write “adventure and fantasy books” when she grows up. I told Chiara your mother’s name and age, and explained how Mary would love to be standing with her right then to encourage her, if only she could. Then I spoke in Mary’s name and encouraged her to follow that dream. Chiara smiled as she listened.She said to tell your mother “Thank you,” spoken in that pure, sincere way of a child…

With many, many thanks to Darla. Because of her kindness, April 10 also became the day to Encourage an Older Writer and Her Mother.  Each month when I visit you in Kansas, Mom, I will read aloud to you Darla’s full account of working with Chiara. During one of our visits, I believe you will understand and know what a gift this was. To Chiara, to you…and to me.

For the rest of us, it’s no secret that we live in difficult times, face pressures and problems, and often feel overwhelmed by the many demands and disappointments. How do you survive…and thrive?  If you have an experience, a special technique or routine for meeting and defeating obstacles, how about sharing it with others?  In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”

Here are the full details for an excellent writing opportunity from Santa Fe.

30 Days to Sanity: We Want Your Stories!

Do you have heartwarming, insightful, and powerfully moving true stories about how to stay sane in this chaotic 24/7 world? A co-author of the New York TimesBest-selling book series Chicken Soup for the Soul is currently seeking personal stories to be included in 30 Days to Sanity, an online stress/resiliency program. We’re looking for inspirational true stories that give a personal account of an event, an obstacle overcome, a strategy to remain sane, or a lesson learned that helps the reader discover basic principles they can use in their own lives.

Some of the topics we will include are: Getting to Know Yourself, Your Needs & Dreams, Getting Your Priorities Straight, Learning to Listen to Your Heart, Discovering Your Passion, Setting Aside Time for You, Balancing Work & Family, Building a Soulful Community, Learning to Love Your Body, Taking a Mini-Vacation or Playcation, Setting Limits Both at Work and at Home, Putting Technology to Work for You, Making a Meaningful Contribution to the World, Growing From the Bumps in Your Life, Making Technology Free Times to Truly Connect, Creating a Space Just For You, Making Sacred Time for Your Family, Eliminating Time Wasters and Energy Suckers, Managing Technology, Banishing Your Guilt, Celebrating Your Gifts and Strengths, Expressing Appreciation to a Friend or Loved One, Asking for Help or Support, Discovering an Attitude of Gratitude, Using Life as Your Teacher, Cultivating Compassion, or Comic Relief (humorous stories about funny things you’ve done while stressed).  Submit as many stories as you’d like.

Story Length: Up to 1,200 words  Submission Deadline: June 1, 2013

Compensation: $100 one-time use fee for each story accepted for publication

Submit to: stephanie@30daystosanitycom or to 30 Days to Sanity, Box 31453, Santa Fe, NM 87594-1453 (please keep copies as we are unable to return submissions).

How Do You Stay Sane During Rough and Tumble Times???

Do you turn lemons into lemonade?

Do you pray and light a candle?

Do you cuddle with a buddy?

A QUIET, STEADY FAITH

Mary Elizabeth Shepherd now, age 94 1/2 (all pictures by Marylin Warner)

The Shepherd family, 1962

Mary, 1938 and 1988

Dear Mom,

In 1980, you wrote “In God We Trust,” typed a final copy on your manual Remington typewriter, and entered it in an Easter contest. It didn’t win. In fact, one judge wrote on your returned entry that the poem was supposed to be about Easter.  I remember you studying the poem and saying you thought that was exactly what it was about.

I agreed then, Mom, and I still do. And deep inside, I think I’m probably not the only one.

Good job, Mom. Now we’ll share it with our friends.   Love, Marylin

“In God We Trust” by Mary Elizabeth Shepherd, 1980

THE WAY TO LOVE ANYTHING

Cumulonimbus clouds. Picture by Marylin Warner, taken from window of a moving car!

Cirrus clouds. (Picture taken by Marylin Warner)

Cumulus clouds over mountain range. (Picture by Marylin Warner)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mom,

Recently Matt Meister, Chief Meteorologist at our local KRDO News Channel 13, gave a tour to classrooms of elementary-age students. One of my favorite comments was from a fifth-grader from Pueblo: “My Nana told me that clouds are God painting the sky, but you said they are made of water.”

Meister took the boy, his class and teacher outside and showed them the cirrus clouds. He pointed out how the clouds looked like a paintbrush had made them, and then he said, “It’s pretty obvious to me that your Nana is right, but maybe she forgot that God uses watercolors!”

I knew you would like that story, Mom. I remember when I was about that age and you came out and sat down beside me on the lawn. You joined me in finding people and animals in the thick, puffy cumulus clouds floating overhead. One wispy, thin cirrus cloud trailed off by itself, and you said it reminded you of a poem. Later we looked up William Wordsworth’s “I wandered lonely as a cloud ~ that floats on high o’er vales and hills ~ When all at once I saw a crowd, A host of golden daffodils…”  The next time you got out your watercolors, we tried painting clouds.

They were a lot harder to paint than they looked, and I got frustrated. I was probably whining and complaining when you finally took out a box of supplies. You gave me chalk and colored pencils, a Big Chief Tablet and crayons. You told me to draw clouds on the sidewalk or color clouds on the tablet with crayons or pencils. It didn’t matter, as long as I kept trying until I was proud of the clouds I made. As the British writer G.K. Chesterton wrote: “There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.”

What a lesson I learned that day, Mom! You taught me that creating something was important, worth my best effort. You also taught me to try, try again until I was proud of my efforts, and to be my own critic.

When I think of that lesson, I remember that Chesterton also wrote this: “The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.”

I love you, Mom, and all the gentle, real lessons you taught me. You don’t remember them, but I do, and I’ll share them with your grandchildren and great-grandchildren so they’ll know the lessons, too, and know they came from you.

Symbols of clouds and rain.
Acryllic painting by Marylin Warner

TWO FACES, BRIGHT EYES, AND LONG TOES

Dear Mom,

When you bought the full set of the WORLD BOOK ENCYCLOPEDIA, you taught me to be curious about details…all kinds of details about all kinds of things.  I’m pretty sure I was the only third grader who knew January is named after the god Janus. And according to mythology, Janus (Latin word for door) has two faces so he can look backward at the old year and forward into the new year.

I now use another technique for finding and learning information, Mom—the internet!  Oh, if it weren’t for the confusion of your dementia, what fun you could have! For instance, here are more details: January is National Braille Literacy Month, and maybe as a companion concern, it is also Eye Care Month.  January is National Blood Donor Month, and then maybe to give you strength to donate blood, it is also Hot Tea Month and National Oatmeal Month!

And this is your great-grandchildren’s favorite detail: January 23 is Measure Your Feet Day. They loved learning that  since their big toes are the same length or longer than the next toe, they supposedly have a natural advantage in skiing, sprinting, jogging, and other sports!

But this fact I learned from neither the encyclopedia nor the internet, but from you: January is National Thank You Month. When I was growing up, I knew that January was when I wrote notes to grandparents and other relatives and friends, thanking them for Christmas gifts.  I used fancy note paper and colored pens, and each note was more than just a quick Thank You. You had taught me about “writing conversations on paper” and expressing genuine appreciation.

That’s what this blog is, Mom, a  series of 85 posts (so far), Thank You notes I hope are like conversations written on paper. Your life has made such a difference in my life and so many other lives. I’m thankful for you every day of every month, and not just January!

P.S.  Last week’s responses with favorite quotes were amazing—a warm Thank You to everyone who shared. I’m always grateful for the generous responses of blogging friends.

This week I also add a HUGE Thank You to Tom Stronach(@tomstronach), our wonderful UK friend who sent a link for the UK anti-Alzheimer’s/dementia brain drink. For more information:  http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/01/14/anti-alzheimers-dementia-brain-shake-sale-_n_2470709.html

The site also has great videos on signs of dementia and caring for those with memory loss.  Thank you so much, Tom, for sharing this.  As William Shakespeare said, “I can no other answer make, but thanks, and thanks.”

YOU CAN’T BLAME GRAVITY

Goodbye Oz: The Tin Man has moved to Abilene, KS

Dear Mom,

In several polls to determine readers’ favorites from Dorothy’s traveling companions in THE WIZARD OF OZ, Tin Man is often in third place. Sometimes he even comes in fourth, behind Toto, her little dog.

But no matter. In this blog, this week, The Tin Man is our featured star. He’s in love! Really. We don’t know his girlfriend’s name, but you have to admit, they make a shiny couple. If we can’t quite see the attraction, we’ll chalk it up to love being blind. As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”

We can give the credit for the creation of Tin Man and Dotty (I named them that) to the staff of the Dickinson County Transfer Station near Abilene, Kansas. Their creation is not a monster made of body parts dug up in cemeteries like Mary Shelley’s FRANKENSTEIN, but a fun couple made of disposable electronics recycled into something new.

In THE WIZARD OF OZ, two of Tin Man’s lines make him my favorite character. The first is when he’s about to lose his friend Dorothy: “Now I know I’ve got a heart, ‘cause it’s breaking.” The other is his wisdom about the measure of love: “It’s not how much you love, but how much you are loved by others.”

That’s the quote I dedicate to you, Mom. You have always had a tremendous capacity to love others, to respect, accept, befriend and help them. And now, at 94 when your dementia, frailty and confusion limit the love you can offer others, the Karma of love has come full circle back to you. Can you feel the love, Mom? I hope so. It’s there.

Mary Shepherd sharing love and hugs with great-grandson, Gannon.
(all photos by Marylin Warner)

___A NOTE TO READERS FROM TIN MAN AND DOTTIE: ___

Our nation dumps between 300-400 million electronic items per year, and less than 20% of that e-waste is recycled.  www.dosomething.org/actnow/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-e-waste

DO YOU KNOW WHAT MONTH THIS IS?

Mary holding first great-grandchild, Grace

SEPTEMBER, you might say. Or, back-to-school month.

If you’re a writer, did you realize that September is–drum roll, please–“Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month”?

I kid you not; I just don’t know who exactly has the power to designate these special days. But for the sake of celebration, and this post, we’ll accept it. The entire month we’ll be kind to editors and writers. Especially one.

Yesterday, Sept. 1, was Emma M. Nutt Day (she was the first woman telephone operator). And today, Sept. 2, is (brace yourself)  National Beheading Day (In this country? Really?–again, who thinks up these things?)

Sept. 6 is Read A Book Day, which fits our theme better.

Today I’m going to offend whoever decided on making this National Beheading Day. This is my blog, after all, so I’m declaring today “Appreciate Writer Mary Elizabeth Hoover Shepherd Day,” and the illustrated story we’re going to appreciate is “Stubby the Missouri Mule.”

In the state of Missouri, where summers can be dreadfully hot and the winters are beastly cold, all the farmers called him Stubby because he was the most stubborn little mule anyone had ever seen. (I’m going to paraphrase the story and include two of my mother’s hand-drawn illustrations. The story was written in 1961 when Mom was 43, and it most recently appeared in 1991 in “The Writers Bloc” of THE FT. SCOTT TRIBUNE.)

One day, a blizzard moved in quickly. Farmer Jim opened the barn and began moving his animals to safety. But not Stubby; he kicked up his heels and ran farther into the pasture. When his momma called, he pretended not to hear, and when the farmer looked for him, Stubby hid. At first he had great fun. Then it got dark, and cold. And scary. No one came looking for him, and he was lost. He startled a skunk and got sprayed; he was hungry–and smelly–but where was the barn? (Lots of misadventures happen.) Then, after Stubby’s dark, lonely night, by morning light he saw the barn in the distance. Instead of being angry, Farmer Jim welcomed the little mule, and Stubby happily jumped in a snowdrift and rolled and rolled to get clean. That night, when the farmer opened the barn to shelter the animals, Stubby didn’t even have to be called. For once, he’d forgotten to be stubborn.

I apologize for my CLIFF’S NOTES summary of a charming story for children, but I also honor the author, Mary Elizabeth Hoover Shepherd, by declaring today, September 2, as her day on this blog.

September is “Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month.” When a writer is 94 and doesn’t remember her story of a darling stubborn Missouri mule, or any of her other stories, articles and poems, a little kindness and appreciation by those of us who do remember for her is the least we can do.

MOTHER OF THOUSANDS

When I was growing up, Mom, you always had plants started in jars, lining window ledges, peeking around books and knick-knacks on shelves. You grew basil, oregano, dill, and rosemary on the kitchen window ledges, and you grew African Violets from teeny-tiny seeds under grow lights. When someone was in the hospital or in need a thinking-of-you visit—and you had an uncanny way of knowing who needed some TLC–you tied a ribbon around pink or purple or white violets and delivered them with a hug.

Recently I discovered a wonderful new plant. The mouthful name is Kalanchoe daigremontiana, but it’s the nickname that captured my imagination: Mother of Thousands Plant. Originally from Madagascar, the succulent produces thousands of “baby” plants along the edges of its leaves (click on the plant pictures below for close ups). When the baby buds drop off the leaves, wherever they land they start new plants.  Very mature plants with tall stems will occasionally produce exotic red and purple blossoms.

Even though you never had Mother of Thousands plants around the house, this is the plant that makes me think of you. Everything you’ve done throughout your life, Mom—however private or public—made a difference in the lives of others. Neighbors, employees, children, teens and adults, all blossomed because of your kindness, your compassion, your listening ear, and mugs of herbal tea served with snickerdoodle cookies. I’ve seen the smiling, relaxed people who left your kitchen table, Mom, and I like to think that they each went on to share that with others. Paying it forward is the current expression for what they did; indirectly, that made you the Mother of Thousands of better moments in others’ lives.

Before David and I were born, you suffered four miscarriages. Maybe that’s why children have always been infinitely precious to you, Mom, but you were equally kind and supportive of all ages.  Each good deed dropped seeds that took hold, and from there more goodness was spread. In your 94 years, I imagine you improving much of the world.

You really are a Mother of Thousands, and I’m grateful that you’re my mom.

Love, Marylin                                                                 

AMAZING BIRTHDAY with Grace and Gannon

Hi, Mom,

Your granddaughter Molly and your great-grandchildren Grace and Gannon came to celebrate an early 94th birthday with you. They had a great time, and now they are the guest bloggers with their story. Here it is: