SERENDIPITY

 

Celtic harpists played in the building on the left while writers worked in the building on the right. (All pictures by Marylin Warner)

Celtic harpists played in the building on the left while writers worked in the building on the right. (All pictures by Marylin Warner)

Between the two buildings, a perfect place for morning coffee, thinking and planning.

Between the two buildings, a perfect place for morning coffee, thinking and planning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and the deer enjoyed grazing in the cool, quiet morning light...

…and the deer enjoyed grazing in the cool, quiet morning light…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serendipity is a “pleasant surprise” or “fortuitous happenstance.” The word was first coined in 1754 by Horace Walpole whose Three Princes of Serendip were always making unintentional, surprising discoveries. More recent examples of serendipity include Alexander Fleming’s 1925 discovery of penicillin, Percy Spencer’s 1945 invention of the microwave oven…and my writing retreat at the Colorado Franciscan Center on May 2-4, 2014.

A good writing retreat is equal parts inspired writing and retreat from distractions. There is no better place to stay than in the calm, private, former convent rooms within a stone lodge in the deer-roaming, bird-chirping foothills of Mt. St. Francis. No televisions or traffic, but spacious, calm areas for writing as well as guided drawing and painting. Plus delicious meals served with great conversation: http://www.franciscanretreatcenter.org/

But what if, on the same weekend and in the same lodge, the Colorado Celtic Harp Society was having its retreat, too, and—here comes true serendipity—on the final night of both retreats, what if the groups were so supportive of each other that the harpists read aloud writers’ poems and children’s stories, accompanied by harp music?

During the weekend, our writing group was given an amazing hour-long experience and additional sessions of “singing bowls” by Ann Martin, MileHighHealingVibe.com   (For basic information and history: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singing_bowl ). I had never even heard of this incredibly creative, restorative and centering experience, so this was another gift of serendipity for me.

In future posts I’ll be sharing some of the writing, drawing and painting prompts from the retreat, as well as words of wisdom I gleaned during meals, while walking the trails, and as we laughed and shared healthy doses of a writer’s best medicine: chocolate.

Two days after the retreat ended, Jim and I drove from Colorado to Kansas. For an early Mother’s Day, I took a glass bowl of budding tulips to my mother, along with stories of the retreat, music of the singing bowls, a fresh mango, and a bar of Dove chocolate. Mostly she just wanted bites of the mango, and of course, the writer’s best medicine—chocolate—so I knew she was doing pretty well.

This is my favorite quote about writing, chocolate, and making sweet plans about dying: “Now she and I sit together in her room and eat chocolate, and I tell her that in a very long time when we both go to heaven, we should try to get chairs next to each other, close to the dessert table.” ~ Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies

In his 1998 book Armadillo, William Boyd coined an antonym for serendipity. Boyd’s term, zembianity, is “an unpleasant surprise, an unhappy and unlucky discovery.”

As for me—and I think I speak for my mother as well—we don’t need any zembianity. We choose serendipity, especially if it includes a surprising amount of chocolate.

 

Preserved TB house on grounds.  1909-1947, over 12,000 TB patients stayed in Colorado TB houses to breathe in the high altitude's dry air and healing properties.

Preserved TB house on grounds. 1909-1947, over 12,000 TB patients stayed in Colorado TB houses to breathe in the high altitude’s dry air and healing properties.

Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators

Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators

Harpists practice for their Saturday night recital.

Harpists practice for their Saturday night recital.

 

1945 statue of St. Francis near the entrance to the Franciscan Center.

1945 statue of St. Francis near the entrance to the Franciscan Center.

Trail leading to the cemetery.

Trail leading to the cemetery.

 

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86 Comments

Filed under art, Dementia/Alzheimer's, lessons about life, lessons for great-grandchildren, Things to be thankful for, writing

86 responses to “SERENDIPITY

  1. Carol Stoffel

    Very cool!!

    Miss you!!

    Carol

  2. What a wonderful coincidence. I love the harp – it is my Celtic origins I am sure. The Anne Lamott quote is excellent. I must bookmark that. The whole idea of a retreat appeals to me and perhaps your mother is in some sort of retreat of her own. I’m sure she liked the tulips though. Harps, chocolate, peace and tulips. What more could anybody want?

    • Aw, thank you, Andrew. There was a time when she would have loved coming to this retreat, listening to the harps, watching the deer, penning her poems and painting some illustrations.
      If you have Celtic origins, you would have loved writing, hiking the hills and photographing the deer…all to the beautiful, mystical harps. Neither group expected to connect so well with the other and thrive with the combined creativity…it really was serendipity!

  3. sounds lovely – I’m green with envy :)

  4. What a wonderful place for a writing retreat, Marylin – how could anyone fail to be inspired!
    I love that you and your Mom shared the chocolate – precious, special times sharing your love of writing, too.

    • And as I told her (briefly–she can’t handle a lot of talking) for just a moment it seemed like it was before the dementia. I almost expected her to ask where her notebook was, or her art tablet, so she could follow up on an idea. At times like this, you know what’s been lost, but you’re also grateful for what you had.
      You would have fit in perfectly at the writing retreat, Jenny.

  5. I feel restored just reading about your retreat. How lovely to experience this beautiful centre. Zembianity…a great word.

  6. That sounds like a fantastic writer’s retreat. Now I am jealous. :)

    • When I packed my bags and writing materials and art supplies, Elizabeth, I really just expected a chance to get away from the ringing phone and doorbell and the constant bad news on TV, and have time to kick back and work through some writing blocks I was fighting. Now I have almost too many ideas and things I want to write/finish writing. You just never know what you’re about to learn!

  7. Don

    You must have had a wonderful time Marylin. It sounds as if it was a real moment of refreshment, energy and inspiration. :)

    • It really was, Don. Maybe these things happen more often than I realize, but I miss them because I’m too busy or distracted. But this time I was ready and open and hopeful, and everything came together in a wonderful and unexpected way.

  8. Oh Marylin, I just love this post (I know I always say that but I really do mean it!!!) Firstly, how wonderful to have been able to attend this delightful writer’s retreat and to then have the harpists there too, what a beautiful and ‘serendipitous’ thing to have them play their harps while reading out everyone’s poems and stories.
    I also really enjoyed reading about the meaning and background of ‘serendipity’ and also it’s antonym…never heard of it! Fascinating.
    Then, the Anne Lamott quote. That packed a huge punch of emotion for and pulled me up short in it’s beauty and oh-so poignant, bittersweet humour. Wow.
    So good to know that your dear mom enjoyed her chocolate… :-)
    For your Mother’s Day tomorrow dear Marylin, I wish for you a day of beauty, blessings, joy and love…and of course enjoyed along with copious amounts of chocolate… :-)

    • Thank you, Sherri. And tomorrow I also wish you a day of beauty, blessings, joy and love for your Mother’s Day. I’ve already enjoyed sharing chocolate with my mother, and tomorrow I will share chocolate with my daughter…and I’m sure my grandchildren will want some, too, plus my husband and our son-in-law. Ah, the richness of chocolate when it’s shared with those we love.
      I wish you lots of rich chocolate with your family, Sherri!

  9. What a lovely place for a retreat. Happy Mother’s Day, Marilyn.

  10. Since you always write about your mother, I couldn’t wait to read the part about her, your visit after this retreat filled with serendipity. I read with interest the things you took to your mother, all filled with sensory dellightl. Your gifts were perfect covering all the senses. Bringing the mango surprised me (since you perfect covering all the senses. Bringing the mango surprised me (since you were traveling from CO to KS) and I smiled “Of course.” It’s skin is smooth and it has such an unforgettable taste and smell, nothing like it. Happy Mother’s Da

    • From one month’s visit to the next, Georgette, I can’t predict what she’ll like to eat and what she’ll push away. This time I also brought a bottle of root beer for her as last month it was a Big Deal and she loved it. Not this month, though.
      But it makes me smile because I realize this is probably what she went through while raising us. Children’s tastes change on a whim, it seems. Though at our house I don’t remember refusing to eat any food on the table! Happy Mother’s Day to you, Georgette.

  11. What’s not to like about a post that combines harps, chocolate and serendipity, a word I introduced to my wordsmith grand-child Curtis about a month ago.

    Thank you for introducing me to its opposite: zembianity, a state I will try to avoid at all costs.

    • It really was one of those rare, golden weekends combining relaxation with stimulation and shared creativity, Marian. I can’t imagine how it could be duplicated…but that’s what makes it serendipity. Now zembianity, that seems to happen on its own as well…even when we don’t want it? ;)

  12. A writers’ retreat with harp music — that sounds heavenly.

    A long time ago when a member of our family was going through medical infusions (long, boring, potentially worrisome hours sitting, hooked up to a machine with our child’s blood circulating through it), a harpist would come and play for us. That, too was like a gift from heaven. It’s amazing, how many kind-hearted, generous people are in the world, doing simple acts of kindness that save our sanity.

    • What a beautiful story, Tracy. Now that I’ve felt and heard first hand the magic of harps, I understand what a gift that was for you.
      One of the harpists takes her harp to an Alzheimer’s and dementia complex every week, and she said that their response is very touching. Especially those in the Rage Stage of Alzheimer’s–it’s very helpful for them, very calming. Yes, the kindness of strangers…such a gift.

  13. Jim

    Thank you for a delightful post, Marylin. “Serendipity” is the perfect word in so many ways for your retreat experience. My favorite example is your picture of the deer making themselves quite at home on the grounds of the retreat center. The deer are the perfect addition to the ambiance of a place dedicated to the protector of all animals, the patron saint of animals and ecology, our beloved Saint Francis of Assisi–now the chosen name of the new Pope.

    • And the weekend serendipity could only happen at the Franciscan Center because I knew you were at home holding down the fort, taking care of everything that had to be done so I could be free to totally enjoy the retreat. Thank you, honey.

  14. What a truly tranquil place it sounds and since the Celts were very artistic it seems somewhat appropriate to have the harpists there. Since the harp is the national instrument of Wales I’d have been right at home.
    I’m glad you had such a brilliant time there before going off the celebrate Mother’s Day with your Mom and sharing the whole experience with her……and the chocolate of course.
    xxx Humungus Hugs Marylin xxx

    • David, you would have been amazed by these Celtic Harpists! In addition to traditional Celtic music, they also played John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” and Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time.” They closed with Pachabel’s Canon in D, which was absolutely gorgeous. Usually their retreat recitals have only a dozen or so attend, but many of our writers’ retreat attended this time to show our appreciation, and we were the big group at the back clapping and whistling and cheering–you know how writers are! It was wonderful.
      Humungus Hugs back to you, David!

  15. juliabarrett

    How wonderful, Marylin! I think you and your mother both had a lovely early Mother’s Day. I thought that was a statue of St. Francis!

    • Julia, you would love the Franciscan Center with the hundreds of acres for hiking, walking, thinking, plus a meditation labyrinth and stone paths winding throughout the grounds. There are many statues of St. Francis, with only the one traditional sculpture in the picture. The rest are carved out of wood or painted on rocks, some whimsical and some touchingly serious, all with birds or rabbits or wolves or animals of some kind.
      It was like stepping back in time and discovering peace and magic.

  16. I love the word serendipity, which is perfect for what it represents. What a wonderful retreat that sounds Marylin, I hope those feelings of inspiration and motivation stay with you.

    • It was an adjustment, driving down from the mountains and immediately packing for the long drive to Kansas, Andrea. But some of the calm and inspiration and hopeful peace lingers, and even now I find myself stepping back or going out for fresh air or a walk, taking a deep breath and mentally putting myself back in that scene. It’s not the same as being there, but it’s a start!

  17. This must have been an exceptional get away for you! So glad you had it, and am looking forward to hearing more in the future. Happy Mother’s Day weekend!

  18. And Happy Mother’s Day to you, Claudia. I’m going to do my best to recreate bits and pieces of the wonderful weekend in the hopes that others will experience the magic of the time. But truthfully, I don’t know how to recapture and express it.

  19. Retreat centres can be so beautiful. Your writers’ retreat sounds perfect
    I was happy to read of your introduction to the singing bowls. We have a small one that sits in the palm of my hand and has a very sympathetic tone.
    At our church we also have, what we call, a sounding bowl. It is the same idea but made of crystal. Different crystals create different tones.
    We use it to call us to a time of quiet before worship and again after the Lord’s Prayer.
    I also use it at funerals to ring three times during the commendation. We think of the sound of the singing bowls as audible incense

    Our grandchildren like to make the brass one sing.
    Really enjoyed your post. Thank you.

    • Rod, what a beautiful way to use the bowls! (And especially your grandchildren making the brass one sing!) This was my introduction to the “call” of the bowls. During my private session when I held bowls in each hand and had crystal and brass and some kind of tempered metal bowls arranged around me, I was moved to tears by the sudden sound of the porch bell my mother used to let me know it was time to come home before it got dark. The bowls evoked so many images and memories, and I was grateful for the calm assurances that followed.
      Audible incense is an excellent description.

      • The porch bell reminded me of the old school handbell that belonged to my great aunt who was the head of a small school on England
        We used to ring it to let our girls know it was time to come home. They used to play in the school playground across from our house.
        All the neighbourhood kids knew ‘the bell’ and would yell out to our girls “te to go home”

      • Oops I hit send too soon. Time to go home.

      • The use of bells to call kids in from play–or as my mother’s bell distinctly said to me in my memory, “Time to come home”–is a wonderful sound to recall and respond to. So many loving gestures of parents to keep their children safe and bring them home before dark need just the nudge of a certain bell sound to remind us how much we have to be grateful for.

  20. Serendipity! One of my favorite words! Beautiful post Marylin. I especially love the quote by Anne Lamott. It rings so true to heart. My mother and I use to, when I lived much closer to home, spend a lot of time going to auctions and visiting antique stores. If there were any china cups with writing on them, we had to purchase them. Once I moved, we would visit antique shops separately and when we found a cup with words that touched our hearts we would send them to one another. One cup I found and sent to my mother said “Until we meet in heaven”. The quote by Anne Lamott reminded me of this cup, which my mother still has. Thank you for the reminder of a sweet memory. Happy Mother’s Day my beautiful, inspiring friend! Robyn

    • Oh, Robyn, the message cups you and your mother share reminded me so much of the many things I’ve shared with my mother! Now I thank you for nudging those memories for me!
      A very happy Mother’d Day to you, too, dear Robyn!

  21. Serendipity has always been one of my favorite words, Marylin. For you to write this post on such a special weekend as Mother’s Day, is serendipity. I’ve been thinking about you and your mother this weekend.
    What a wonderful retreat. I look forward to hearing more about it in future posts.
    Wishing you and your beautiful mother a very happy Mother’s Day!

    • Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts, Jill. It’s another form of serendipity for me. It really is.
      At the retreat I thought of all you writing friends I’ve met via blogging, and I knew you all would understand exactly what gentle harp music, roving deer, singing bowls and combinations of painting-drawing-writing-quiet thinking would do to the creative process. Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if we all could have been there?

  22. Happy Mother’s Day, Marylin! Can’t wait to hear what you share about your retreat. My mother is in heaven (1999), and she loved chocolate, too. And peppermint. I hope she’s eating a heavenly Peppermint Pattie up there.

    • One of the messages from the retreat I’ll share with you now, Darla, because of what you said about your mother loving chocolate and peppermint.
      Any time a specific scent, a taste, a sound or texture comes to mind about someone you have loved and lost, accept it as a nudge, a gentle message from that person. Respond by replicating the sensory experience and quietly focusing on a specific memory.
      Tomorrow, on Mother’s Day, I hope you’ll enjoy a Peppermint Pattie and think of your dear mother…your heart reaching out to hers as you thank her for something special, gentle or loving your remember.
      Chocolate and peppermint…shared by mother and daughter…

      • Yes, I am thankful to God for the sweet reminders of her that He sends. Just tonight I was looking at a pin cushion with the little strawberry needle sharpener. A memory of sitting with mom and sticking the needles in and out of the strawberry came to me and made me smile. I had a great Mother’s Day and I’m sure you did, too!

  23. dianabletter

    Count me in at the dessert table! Wouldn’t that be serendipity if we all met in heaven – my definition would be all the time to write, great desserts that don’t make you fat, and strong coffee! It would be rather zembianous if we’d have no time to write, no desserts, and no coffee – but maybe that would be the definition of hell. I can’t wait to be read about your writing prompts and glean some inspiration from that retreat. Thanks for posting and Happy Mother’s Day! Diana

    • And a very happy Mother’s Day to you, too, Diana. I know you’re probably remembering your mother today, but I hope you’re also having a wonderful time with your children, too.
      I smile every time I think of Anne Lamott’s quote, the sitting together near the dessert table in heaven. There’s such a gentle, funny, generous connection in the plan, and the rest of the book TRAVELING MERCIES has other gems, too.

  24. Thank you for sharing such a serendipitous occasion :)

  25. The lodge looks so peaceful and the retreat sounds so rejuvenating. The photo of the deer is exceptional Marylin. Love the Anne Lamott quote!

    • Theresa, you and your camera would have a wonderful time! In fact, while we were getting a sunburn at our grandchildren’s soccer game here in Kansas yesterday, the Franciscan Center in Colorado was getting 4″ of snow! Those would make beautiful pictures, with deer on the snowy hillsides.

  26. It is a kind of place and atmosphere I know I would just love … thanks to your post I can at least imagine it -:)!

    • You would love it, Daniela. In fact, except that it has deer instead of sheep roaming the hills, it remind me very much of the poem and pictures you recently pictured, plus yesterday the retreat area got almost 4″ of snow! Mother’s Day snow–that’s why they remind us to never plant anything in our part of Colorado until after Mother’s Day.

  27. Diana Stevan

    Dear Marylin, what a fabulous post! You brought me to tears again mentioning your memories of your mother ringing the bell, calling you home. Reminded me of my childhood days. I had no bell to call me in, but when it was dark, I went into a home of love and comfort. Also, your setting reminded me of a time, decades ago, when my husband, Rob, and I went to a Catholic monastery in Mission, B.C. for a weekend retreat. We ate our meals with the monks and in the morning,rose early and listened to them sing Gregorian chants. Your experience with the harpists and the sounding bowls reminded me of that time. I don’t know how you got any writing done, but your retreat certainly would’ve soothed your soul. Annie’s Song alone is one I can’t listen to without tearing up. I could go on… Thanks for sharing your experience.

    • The monastery retreat sounds beautiful, Diana, especially since you and your husband could do it together. During my weekend I kept wishing Jim could be there with me; he was a writer in college and I think he would have enjoyed the writing, and especially the harps and the bowls. And he would have loved what you described in British Columbia. We spent a week of our honeymoon in Victoria and even after all these years we still plan to return and stay longer!

  28. A peaceful, creativity-stirring place to write, harps AND chocolate?? Perfection! Thanks for the introduction to ‘singing bowls,’ Marylin – I hope I actually get to hear them for myself one day!

    • A friend told me she saw a Dr. Oz segment where he explained “Singing Bowls” benefits and how they worked. The facilitator who came to do our sessions lives in Denver, but supposedly there are trained, certified instructors are in every state. I hope you can find one nearby, Shel, as it’s an amazing experience. And if you read the comment by “Just Rod” earlier on this post, as a minister he uses the bowls as “auditory incense,” which sounds really nice.

  29. Hi Marylin, as I read your post, I wished that one day I shall be able to enjoy the beauty, the peace, the serenity, and pleasure of a retreat like yours. I’ve had a few serendipitous experiences recently and I am holding them close to me. Thank you for sharing yours. I’m glad you and your mom spent beautiful moments together on Mother’s Day. Have a great week!

  30. The way it all came together, Elaine, with the unexpected harps and the joy of painting and drawing instead of writing, made it truly serendipitous! Even now, I find myself stop whatever I’m doing, think about something from that weekend, and smile. I hope you also had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

  31. There is much (I was going to say ‘life’ here, but it’s not is it?) spirit magic in this place and what comes from here….magic Marylin. Thanks for telling us about it and I am so glad you had this weekend, a real heart memory. Xx

    • Thank you, Jane, it really is a heart memory. One of those serendipitous weekends just when I needed it more…which made it even more magical.
      I hope your spent a wonderful weekend sharing chocolates and mangos and laughter with those you love most!

  32. Molly

    Mom,

    I loved hearing all about your experiences at the retreat, and now getting to see the pictures, I can tell just how wonderfully relaxing and what a retreat it was. She wouldn’t like it now, but 10 or so years ago Grandma would have loved this type of experience, especially if it was with you.

    Instead you got to go experience it and enjoy it and then got to have a great time this past week with Grandma, and her honery self not wanting to take her allergy pill. I am so glad that she still has some spit fire in her…although I don’t really ever remember there being an honery side to Grandma before, it is fun to see it come out now.

    I hope that you find more wonderful things, like this retreat, to do for yourself in the near future….you deserve it!

    Love you!!!

    • Thanks, honey. It really was a wonderful retreat, and good preparation for going to visit Grandma. I still laugh when I think of her taking the allergy pill and drinking her juice. The CNA and the caregiver thought it was great, but I was the one who said, “Wait…one…two…three…” and then Grandma spit it out. And then she did it again! But I’m like you, Mookie, those little pill spittings mean she’s still feisty… or as feisty as she can be under the circumstances.
      And you’re right; years ago, Grandma would have loved going on this retreat! She would have been watching the deer, writing poems about harp music, and happily painting pictures.

  33. The scenery alone must have been restorative, and to have it accompanied by a writing retreat and beautiful music must have been near heavenly. Hold on to those relaxing feelings and inspiration for as long as you can!

    • Oh, yes, I’m certainly trying. I bought a CD of the “singing bowls,” and while it’s not a recording of the exact program we experienced, there are three sections that transport me to the mood and calm inspiration I experienced that day. Special days are worth remembering again and again!

  34. Wow, more beautiful! And I love the Anne Lamott quote! I am a huge fan of hers….and of chocolate! :)

  35. I often refer to serendipity as ‘when the planets align.’ That’s when things come together in an unexpected and very pleasant way. Love your story and your retreat … sounds so calming and beautiful.

    Anne LaMott is one my favorite writers. Her “Bird by Bird” is very inspirational. I love her quote here: “Now she and I sit together in her room and eat chocolate, and I tell her that in a very long time when we both go to heaven, we should try to get chairs next to each other, close to the dessert table.” ~ Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies

    What a wonderful reunion that would be. Cheers, Marilyn. ;)

  36. “Serendipity” I love that word as well. That sanctuary must have been a wonderful place and what a treat indeed to be accompanied by such musical artists. Writers and musicians go very well together. You know, Marilyn, I am a sound healing practitioner and have a whole variety of acoustic instruments such as Tibetan bowls, tuning forks, shruti etc.. as a modality for ‘healing’, relaxation and transformational events/sessions. I’m currently working on a website (there’s a lot going on right now, cause I do so much more of that..a woman of a thousand passions LoL) and I’m also planning on ‘soundful story-telling’ events..:)

  37. This sounds like an ideal place to relax and let the creative juices flow,.

  38. This place of serenity and music must have helped your creative juices to really flow, Marylin! I love how you took a variety of gifts to your mother. I think the mango and chocolate are lovely and tasty treats. I also think including her in what you experienced must rumble around in her thoughts. I am always in awe of your relationship and hope to emulate it in mine with my own Mom. I know her memory is fading, not sure how it will go in the future, but we are blessed to have them, in whatever form or state of mind they are in. I have analyzed words in posts, too. I like “The Meaning of Regret” and my definitions of other words, too. It is something else that we have in common, too. Smiles, Robin

    • You understand how we carefully hold the precious bits and pieces that remain of our mothers’ lives as they get older, Robin. Thank yo for the kind words. The mango and chocolate weren’t my original plan, but when I picked up the round glass container with the growing tulips inside as her Mother’s Day flowers, the two tasty morsels called out to me. ;) We do he best we can.

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